On The Other Side Of The Door

On The Other Side Of The Door

“Autism rages loud, all-consuming, battering at your spirit just as you batter at my door. But it batters at mine too, trying to pull us down into the abyss of this meltdown. An Autism meltdown for you, a questioning of my Motherhood meltdown for me. Am I doing this right? Do I have the skills for this? Can I really do this?”

My 40th Year

My 40th Year

Overall though, for me personally, my 40th year has been one of the best years I have seen yet. Read more. . .

True Confessions- I Hate Routines: Mom Fail

True Confessions- I Hate Routines: Mom Fail

“I have a child with Autism who needs routines to keep him calm and regulated. Recently, I started back to school. It requires me to be very deliberate in everything I do to make sure I’m accomplishing everything.
But I HATE routines!!!”

Librarians- Changing The World One Book At A Time

Librarians- Changing The World One Book At A Time

We all know the caricature of our childhood Librarians. A stern bespectacled maiden old lady who looks warningly over the top of her glasses “sh”ing you every time you made the slightest noise.
These were what the librarians of my childhood. Read more. . .

Friends Wanted: Why Are You My Friend?

Friends Wanted: Why Are You My Friend?

“Often, we hear feel-good stories about helping special needs people. You know the ones. Ones, where the Boy takes the Girl with Down-Syndrome to the Prom. Not because he’s interested in her, but so she can be included. Everyone should be included. But it sometimes seems that there is a small spark of disingenuousness in this action. In the disability community, there is a term for these stories. It’s “Inspirational Porn.””

Adrenaline? I Faced Down A Moose, What Did You Do?

Adrenaline? I Faced Down A Moose, What Did You Do?

I may not jump out of airplanes or repel off cliffs. But my life is filled with adrenaline packed moments and I don’t see that ending anytime soon. So I’ll take my facing down Moose and Bears and leave the skydiving to my Husband.
Read more. . .

The Meanest Mom Who Won’t Give Her Daughter A Smartphone

The Meanest Mom Who Won’t Give Her Daughter A Smartphone

“Sometimes my children ask and badger so much that I start wondering if I’m just being a bad Mom. Times have changed since I was a kid.
But that’s just it. Times have changed. In a world where pornography, a huge increase in sex trafficking, cyber bullying, and SO much more is out there, we need to stand firm. It is our responsibility to keep our children safe, and as their parent, you get to decide what that is.” Read more. . .

The “What Do I Do If” Game

The “What Do I Do If” Game

If your spouse is in the military, law enforcement, or dealing with a potentially deadly illness, you have played the “What do I do if my spouse dies game?” You may have played it anyway if you are the type of person like me who wants to have a plan for every contingency.

I say “game,” but it’s not a game you ever want to play. But this is the reality of life for people in these situations.

When my husband was deployed to a war zone, I met another spouse whose husband was also at war. She said when she can’t sleep, she figures out how she is going to spend her husband’s life insurance. She plans out his funeral. As he is double insured, she had lots of money to figure out how to spend. For his funeral? She planned on getting Clay Aiken to sing because her husband couldn’t stand his singing. She thought it might be enough to make him rise from the dead if she did that.

Those of us who find ourselves in situations of life where our spouse could die, find that there are necessary conversations that must be had. There are contingency plans that must be made, that while others might make them, for us, the reality is that the chances are much higher we might have to enact that plan.

If your spouse dies, will you stay where you are? Move closer to the family? Change jobs or go back to work? How will childcare be handled? How will we handle life? These are the thoughts that run through our brains in the middle of the night. This is a fact of life for us.

There are unexpected benefits.

1- If it happens? We have a plan. Not everyone has one.

2- We highly value the time we do get with our spouse because we know that any day, things could change.

So here’s to all the other spouses and families out there playing the “What Do I Do If?” game. May you never need to use it.

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