An Ordinary Mom's Musings

We were young and in love. You proposed by asking if I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I said, “Yes, of course”, but I had no idea that was a proposal! There was no bending down on one knee and presenting me with a ring like most girls dream of.

Ring shopping was one of the first things we did. I don’t wear a lot of jewelry. You were surprised when I said I only wanted one ring. I didn’t want an engagement ring and a wedding ring. I’m unconventional like that. (I also wanted pie for our wedding cake but we compromised on cheesecake.) I know what I want, and I’m not ashamed of that. The rings were bought and we waited to put them on each other’s finger at our wedding. We shared the news of our engagement.

An Unexpected Response

The months that preceded the wedding, I was both intrigued and dismayed by the responses I received for not wearing an engagement ring. People were very upset that it wasn’t on my finger. How could I consider myself engaged? It was a symbol that I was off the market. (Did I really want to be compared to a side of beef anyway?) The ring meant that he was serious and had placed a down payment on me. (Seriously?!) Who would have thought that the lack of one little ring would cause such drama!

Then there was the other side of the spectrum. I was lauded for not giving in to ancient traditions, or letting a man own me. To be honest, I just don’t wear lots of jewelry. That’s all it was.

The History of Engagement Rings

Apparently, the history of an engagement ring is such as to show ownership-

“A man presents his prospective bride with an engagement ring upon acceptance of his marriage proposal. Anthropologists believe this tradition originated from a Roman custom in which wives wore rings attached to small keys, indicating their husbands’ ownership.”

-The History of the Diamond as an Engagement Ring

Interesting note- It included a key as well which would unlock their chastity belt. Yet another interesting little fact about engagement/wedding rings-

“In many countries, engagement rings are placed on the ring finger of the left hand. At one time it was believed that this finger contained a vein (the vena amoris) that led to the heart. This idea was popularized by Henry Swinburne in A treatise of Spousals, or Matrimonial Contracts (1686).^[6] The story seems to have its origin in the ancient Roman book Attic Nights by Aulus Gellius quoting Apion‘s Aegyptiacorum, where the alleged vein was originally a nervus (a word that can be translated either as “nerve” or “sinew”).^[7]”
-Wikipedia

I’ve had to learn not to be too sentimental about my wedding ring. I LOVED my ring. But it was lost about a year into our marriage. It needed to be resized. Before my husband left for his first deployment, we replaced it with a new one. Several years later, I slipped and fell on some ice and broke and dislocated my left elbow. (Something I do not recommend.) My fingers were so swollen they had to cut my ring off.  I didn’t get around to fixing it quickly and when I did, I discovered that one of the diamonds were missing and several were cracked according to the jeweler. We decided it would be best just to get a new one…

I still haven’t bought a new ring, but while on my trip to Scotland last year, I obtained a spoon ring (a ring made out of the handle of a spoon). It has a daffodil and reminds me of Scotland as daffodils were blooming everywhere while there. As I wasn’t wearing a wedding ring at the time, I slipped it onto that finger and there it has remained and probably will remain until I get around to buying a new one.

I don’t need a ring to make me happy.

Lots of jewelry isn’t my thing. But my husband is my thing, and for that I am grateful. As we celebrate 16 years this week we’re taking off for the weekend alone for the first time in 10 years and going to another country (It’s just Victoria Canada but saying we are going to another country sounds cool!)

May you all have a blessed week as we head full tilt into the Holidays.