I’ve written about polarization in the U.S. before. I don’t find it pretty or helpful to our country. It doesn’t make space for friendship to develop.
Listening
When people talk, I try to listen with an open heart to hear what the person is truly saying to me and feeling. Their thoughts and feelings are valid even if I personally don’t agree with them or even vehemently reject them. This is hard. I don’t enjoy hearing and reading things I might find repugnant. I do have a line that if you cross, I will hide your post on social media, I will leave the conversation if necessary. But I will also stand up firmly and strongly for what I believe in. (Don’t believe me? Just read other posts on my blog. It shouldn’t leave you in doubt.)
I think that is part of why I’m compelled to write, to blog. Because I can share my truths.
Differences of Opinion
A friend and I have some pretty divergent views from each other in the area of politics. I had begun to grow a little weary of seeing the multitude of social media posts that really rubbed me the wrong way. Things I completely disagreed with. It made me start to question our friendship in spite of truly trying to see my friend and her experiences for who she was.
We went to dinner one night and I told my husband I didn’t know how long I would be. I thought I might end up leaving earlier rather than later. I just couldn’t fathom sitting through a long dinner if these views were going to be the topic of discussion. Instead, we had the most amazing night and really reconnected our friendship grew. How did that happen? How could I continue to be friends with someone who had such differing views from mine?
Just One Thing
All it took was having one thing in common that means everything to us. You see we both have children with special needs. As we talked about our heartaches, triumphs, and failures as parents of these special kids, there was a bond of sisterhood and friendship that didn’t matter what political stance someone might have. It didn’t matter that we believed in different things because we had important common ground.
The next time you wonder how you could continue being friends with someone who has different opinions, different values, ask yourself, ”What do I have in common with them?” ”When we first met, what drew me to them?”
Christ didn’t just hang out with his most devout followers. He spent time with people who thought differently than he did, that had different values than he did. He let his light shine everywhere. We need more light in, in this world and less darkness. Don’t let polarization start with you. Let it end with you.
I think debate is good for friendship and can actually make it stronger. Life would be dull if my friends agreed with me all the time. Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging and please remember to add our badge
I agree that it can make it stronger. And I do have your badge on my homepage. It’s just at the bottom of the page with all the other blogs I have been featured on.
This is an important concept for everyone to understand. It is a good challenge to “focus on what we have in common” “what brought us together”. Thank you.
Thank you. I think often we forget that all are people worthy of basic human respect and if we don’t remember that, it becomes very easy to relive the most awful parts of our world history.
Hi Calleen,
The world truly does seem to want to polarize and divide us. I relate to your words here immensely. Because of social media, our differences our thrown in our faces again and again. As well as so many become empowered by the keys of a keyboard whereas in real life they wouldn’t have quite the same aggressiveness. You give some fantastic advice here in remembering what’s at the heart of our relationships! (I’m sharing this one!)
Thank you for sharing hope alongside me at #MomentsofHope ♥
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Thank you. It has been on my mind and heart a lot lately.
This is a great focus and a very good reminder. If the enemy can get our focus in the wrong place he can separate us. It’s so good to be reminded that even in very stark differences, we can still love and support each other. Really good post, Calleen. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you. It’s been on my mind a lot lately.
I can just imagine the connection and joy you felt by the end of your conversation with your friend. It’s easy to see how much you disagree with someone, but harder to admit that in-spite of differences Jesus brings you together for Him. Thank you for sharing this at #TellHisStory.
Thank you. It is much easier to see the disagreement. I’m not always perfect at seeing the other side but I’m trying.
Calleen –
You are so right – we can still be friends if we disagree on certain topics, if we can find common ground. In fact, I think it is good for us to have people in our life that are not just like us and that we can have honest candid discussions and still come out the other side as friends. I’m your neighbor at #SpiritulSunday I would also love to have you linkup with me on Thursday’s sometimes. I think you have before, but I didn’t see your post this week…. Just in case here is the info again 🙂
PS.. if you are looking for another place to link to on Thursday’s I would love if you would consider joining my linkup #TuneInThursday – it opens Thursday 3am PST and runs through Sunday night. you can find it at debbiekitterman.com/blog (Please feel free to delete the link if you think it inappropriate).
I can’t remember if I linked up with you or not this week. I have a list I usually work my way through, though occasionally I have technical difficulties.
Thank you for your kind words. I agree. I think it’s important to have people in your life with different perspectives. They bring perspective that we may have not thought of or understood.
Thanks so much for sharing your heart and insights ESPECIALLY in light of the political climate we are in.
You truly got to the heart of the matter and what really matters when it comes to friendships.
Great post!
Thank you. It’s been in my thoughts a lot lately.
this is a wonderful post and point of view – so quickly I can go to what’s different rather than the one thing. Thanks, Calleen!
Thank you for your kind words and stopping in and reading.
I’m always writing about healing and spiritual gifts, I tell people it’s okay if they disagree. So far I haven’t gotten but a few rude comments, I’m blessed, and expect to be. God covers and protects His words. Politics is another story, I tell people that too, when they blast Trump’s Christianity, everyone is at different levels of faith and stages in their lives, God will meet you there. I don’t like arguing but you can still be loving and firm.
These are good points. Thanks for stopping by and reading.
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Thanks for reading.