This was originally written a couple weeks ago-
A friend recently asked me if I thought D would be able to live on his own and hold down a job one day. 
That is our goal. But whether or not we will be able to reach it at this point is unknown. Although he has Autism, and he’s fairly high functioning, and pretty capable, he will not choose to do things on his own.
What do I mean by that? With a 3-5 year old you expect that you are going to go behind them all the time helping them, making sure they do what you ask, but after about 5 you start trusting they will follow through on their own in limited circumstances most of the time. As they grow older this ability to work independently grows with them. Usually.
We don’t have that with D. He is completely and totally capable of doing everything that is age appropriate in caring for himself. What he lacks is the desire to do it and any follow through. It isn’t a lack of parenting or structure. It simply isn’t there.
I spend my days putting a carrot in front of him and burning down the bridges behind him so that he will get anything done. Simple things like getting him out of bed, getting dressed, taking a shower shouldn’t require a Herculean effort to accomplish. And it is this way with most things he needs to get done during the day. He is almost as big as I am now, so burning down the bridges behind him is becoming increasingly more difficult. I cannot physically make him do anything anymore. The carrots I hold out are increasingly ineffective as he just doesn’t care about anything enough to take a shower or participate in Science class unless it’s some huge thing and that can’t happen every day.
I’m dejected and exhausted this morning as it is 9:30am and school started an hour ago. He’s still at home. Yesterday he stayed home from church because I couldn’t get him to shower and change and I was tired of him always making me late for church. My husband had been out of town all last week for work and I had been sick. I was and am done in.
Will he live on his own and be a contributing member of society? I don’t know. Right now while I’m in the trenches it doesn’t look like it. But we will keep working towards it and praying that he does because as his Mom, I cannot and I will not give up.
