Are you single? Or are you married but your spouse is away on deployments with the military or just gone for work often? This post isn’t for you. It’s for everyone else out there who loves you, associates with us or who we see in various social gatherings.
Dear Friends,
You know how you often invite families over to watch a football game? Or for a game night? Perhaps after church for fellowship and a meal?
Stop. Take a minute and think about the last several times you’ve invited people over. Were any of these people single? Did anyone have a spouse who wasn’t there?
Chances are high that unless you intentionally invited people because they fit into these parameters, you didn’t invite families like mine. A family whose Husband and Father is often gone for work.
It’s not that you purposely excluded us. We know that.
But you see, because single people and families like mine, don’t come to you as part of a couple, it is less likely that we will be invited to your social gatherings.
And that gets lonely.
After years of it, I’ve learned to get by on my own. But should I? Should we?
I know, you’ve never realized you’re doing this and that’s why I’m bringing it to your attention. I’m not just pointing a finger at you. I can do better myself and focus on inviting those who are single.
If we only invite people over to our home whose family looks like ours, what are we teaching our children? They are watching. Don’t we ask them to be inclusive of others?
Maybe, you will think of including us purposefully the next time you have people over. Maybe, you will find out that you enjoy our company so much that you will start inviting us anyway without thought of our coming as part of a couple.
This life can be lonely and hard, but it doesn’t have to be if we will just share ourselves with each other.
This is such a great post! Throughout our marriage, we have been intentional in inviting a variety of people into our home for dinner or small group or holiday or birthday gatherings… but you are right –it’s too easy to get into a routine of hanging out with people or families who are just like us. It’s often not intentional –it just happens. However, you are right –we need to be more purposeful in opening our homes and hearts to all kinds of people!
I’m late getting back to reply to this, but thank you. And thank you for stopping in and reading my words.
I think people may be concerned about them feeling out of place with couples. I have felt a that way at the neighbors, because they invite so many relatives I don’t know.
I think that anyone can feel that way. The trick is to be a good hostess and make everyone feel welcome, but I think the knowledge of how to do that is often lacking.
Such a good post. A reminder that needed to be voiced, thank you for putting it into words. There are so many lonely that are left forgotten. Sometimes it just takes someone like you to make us aware. Thank you!
That was my hope for this post, just to make people think and open their lives up to bless and befriend others.
I remember when I was both a single Mum & a widow, you’re right we are left out. I enjoy my own company so I was fine but my daughter noticed it :-/
Bless you,
Jennifer
Thank you. It’s something that not many people think about. I don’t think it’s usually intentional, it’s just the way things are, but I’m hoping with shining a light on it, it can change.