An Ordinary Mom's Musings

Yesterday was a win. I was feeling well. Anxiety was held at bay. I accomplished so much and words just flowed on to the page. I think I wrote 4 articles, I (finally) got the last of the Christmas decorations down and actually in the shed. I was patient and kind with my children. I was happy to see them and my husband.
Today is not. Anxiety is a crazy unpredictable thing. Today I have to rest or I will be writhing in pain from the pain in my eyes that comes now with my anxiety attacks. There is a huge feeling of doom I cannot shake. I keep trying to push myself forward and get things done. Trying to focus on the good things, telling myself not to listen to the lies my brain is telling me. Anxiety pushes me back. Slamming me back down, telling me that I’m not good enough, and that bad things will happen unless I worry about everything and make a plan to find a way through. It is a war within myself as I struggle to gain back control of the body and mind that often loses control and will make me hyperventilate, make the room spin, make me feel detached and separate from all that is going on around me or some new trick this part of my body named Anxiety likes to play.
30% of all adults will at some time in their lives experience an anxiety disorder. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it is here to stay with you for the rest of your life, just that you could go through it for a period of time. If you are a woman, you are about a third more likely then men to experience an anxiety disorder. It is only once you have had a period of anxiety attacks and they go away and then come back again, or it never leaves that you are diagnosed with a Chronic Anxiety Disorder.
Chronic Anxiety disorder sucks.
Yesterday was a win. Today is not. Tomorrow is a question mark.