You Want Gifts, But He Can’t Read Your Mind

Every year my husband and I have the same discussion about gifts, be it my birthday, Christmas or some other time. It is poor manners to tell people to get me x, y or z and I want to be surprised by what I’m given. I don’t try to guess what I’m getting for Christmas by feeling or shaking a gift. I love these surprises and I want to wait for the big day.

But my Husband never knows what to get me. Add to that, that he doesn’t like his Birthday and Christmas isn’t his favorite holiday. But I don’t want to tell him what I want. I want that surprise!

Build a Wish list

Two years ago I finally said enough! I built a wish list on Amazon of things I wanted and while I knew that the things I would be getting would be on the list, I wouldn’t know which ones I would get. Then this year, I totally forgot that there even was a list anywhere of things I wanted. I was REALLY surprised when I started opening my gifts and finding things I had forgotten that I wanted. Add to that he and my daughter surprised me with slippers which I didn’t know I wanted. I actually kind of turned up my nose at them mentally when I opened them. But they have been one of my favorite gifts from last Christmas.

I had so much frustration over gifts. It was never that I wanted something big, flashy or expensive. But I didn’t want to have to spell out things I wanted and needed. To me, that ruined the whole purpose of the gift. I wanted someone to see me and innately know those things I wanted and desired. The problem is that most people are not mind readers.

My husband is fabulous at seeing when I just can’t go any farther. He picks up and takes over and gives me what I need at that moment. He’s really good at that, that is a gift that he has. But we all have different gifts, different ways of seeing and doing things. So as a compromise, I’m going to continue this wish list on Amazon.

How do you let your significant other know what you want as a gift? Or are they just gifted at knowing what you need and want?

40 thoughts on “You Want Gifts, But He Can’t Read Your Mind

  1. This year I created a wishlist on Amazon for the first year ever and I just don’t know why I hadn’t done it sooner. It’s such a good idea. Thank you for sharing with #TriumphantTales

  2. My husband is definitely not a gift-giver and he is rarely in a store even. I have done all the gift-buying for our children and families over the years – even sometimes doing 4 years at a time when we were preparing for 4 years in Africa. I had my list of the age each child would be for each birthday and Christmas and I would write beside their names what I got them. LOL. He simply lets me buy what I want and wrap it and put it under the tree so that I have something to open when our adult kids and grandkids are here. Last year on Christmas day after we ate and were going to open gifts, he nervously said to me, “Is there something under the tree for you from me?” LOL. I don’t mind. I know he loves me. But I do love the Amazon gift idea (although he has never shopped online for something in his life, I don’t think – except maybe an online subscription to Newsweek. LOL)

  3. It’s exactly the same from the other side of the fence! I try to keep a list of things that I notice are wanted or needed throughout the year, for myself, my kids and anyone else. Having a list from someone for the things you don’t see or know about can be so helpful though… let’s face it, we do spend a lot of time apart – even if it’s just in different “offices” – so different people will know different things about you and your related wants and needs. You didn’t know you wanted slippers, and you turned your nose up at them, but it just goes to show that maybe he does know your needs even if not your wants so well. Without communication, he never will.

  4. This is a great idea! My hubby likes to write down things that I have said that I wanted, but tends to forget. I have gotten used to the idea that sometimes I just have to say what I would like. But I am like you, I would love for him to remember the things that I have asked for and surprise me! And again you are right, we each have our own gifts! 🙂

    Thanks for linking up @LiveLifeWell!

    Blessings,

    Amy

  5. “Most people are not mind readers.” That’s a truth we sometimes forget when it comes to our spouses! “He sees me every day, he knows what we have and don’t have, how can he not know!” I know I’ve thought that myself before, but then I think back on our pre-marital counseling when we talked about how men think differently than women, and nobody can read minds. Thanks for the reminder!

  6. I am the complete opposite. Here is my list of the things I love. While I appreciate gifts from the heart that speak to me, I really love the things on the list. I am never ungrateful, but my husband is just the opposite of yours. My lists are suggestions, but he many times gets things he thinks I could love, which is truly a sweet quality. #Grace&Truth Linkup

  7. I do the same thing for my mom, but for all of our family members. It actually works really well as I can add things to it all year, and then we can both use it come Christmas time. My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t shop on Amazon because I get all the order notifications. He tries really hard to surprise me with something special, and I always love his effort, no matter what the gift is.

    Thanks for linking up with us over on the Grace and Truth Link-Up.

  8. I agree, there is something special when people know what we want without being told, but so often it doesn’t happen so I think a wish list is a good idea!

  9. I keep a running Amazon wishlist for this reason too! If nothing else it helps spark ideas for my guy so there are still surprises. Thanks for sharing!

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