Right before our 1st wedding anniversary, my husband was getting ready to deploy to Iraq for 16 months with the military. He actually reported in for duty on our 1st Anniversary. We had just moved and were at a new church. The women there were gracious and kind.
However, I didn’t understand the comments from various women about how they were jealous and wished their husbands would go away for a year or two. Here I was a newly married person, my husband was going off to war with no guarantee that he would ever come home again, I was appalled!
(Quick PSA, if you are talking to a woman, and her spouse has deployed statements like above, or ones like, “I never get to see my husband anymore”, when he is home in bed every night- Just don’t.)
I’ve also been on the opposite side of comments where women have said, “I could never do what you do, having your husband gone all the time.” They feel their husband has to be by their side in order to survive. While these comments are basically the exact opposite of the previous ones, these comments puzzled me as well.
Fast forward 15 years. . . I now understand what each of these groups of women meant.
You love your husband. You really, really do. But. . .
Sometimes it’s nice to have the whole king size bed to yourself!
Occasionally it’s nice to stay up half the night working on a project without having to worry about waking up your husband or feeling guilty because you aren’t spending time with him. The kids are in bed and this is your time to do with as you please.
Sometimes you want to watch a sappy girl movie that most men would rather die than watch.
Occasionally you want girl food, not meat and potatoes. Because let’s face it, the kids are happy with cereal or Mac and Cheese. This leaves you to have your grapes, cream puffs, and croissants, or whatever else strikes your fancy.
But what about that other group of women who can’t survive without their husband’s being there?
I’ve always been a pretty independent person. Having kids has taught me the value of having a partner in the craziness.
Someone who can take over before you’ve completely lost it with the kids, the house and the dog.
A person who can share the joys and the sorrows with you and help you face the day after.
Someone who is your best friend and who just “gets” you.
My married life has been such that my husband has times in which he is gone for extended periods. Other times he is home working normal hours locally. What I’ve learned through the years is to take each time that I have and thoroughly enjoy it to the fullest.
Time to myself is so important to me, so I totally get this! Thanks for sharing with #TriumphantTales.
I get kind of cranky if I don’t get time to myself. It gives me a needed reset. Thanks for stopping in and reading!
Hubster is in the Navy and has been gone for more than half of our 15 years together. I won’t lie, I absolutely thrive during our separations! I love getting to do all of my projects and I do appreciate him more when he is home. It truly is the best of both worlds – though not everyone is built for this type of marriage. #GlobalBlogging
I absolutely agree! I am now guessing the area of the Sound that you live by.
Such a very good and heathly viewpoint. I still remember the issues the guys in my ship had when we were gone for six months. #TriumphantTales
Thanks! It can take a while to develop and learn but I have found it’s best for me.
Its necessary sometimes to remember who we are as individuals, as opposed to just who we are as a couple. Thanks you to both yourself and your husband for your service #twinklytuesday
Thank you for stopping by and reading. I appreciate it.
I think it’s important in any relationship to have some time apart, however long that may be It certainly works for my wife and I and I think it makes us stronger as a result. It’s all about balance. #TriumphantTales
I agree. Balance is so important.
You’ve hit the nail on the head. I think what’s ultimately nice is to have the choice. I love it when I can send my other half off to the pub for the night so I cam have some space and equally I love that I can ask him to cancel when I’ve had a bad day. It’s tough to have that choice taken away though #TwinklyTuesday
Mine plays hockey and I love that even when he isn’t gone for long periods of time I can still get those occasional nights to just have time to myself.
My husband drives pilot car escorting oversize loads over the road. He goes away at a moment’s notice, and sometimes he’s away two weeks at a time. Now, yeah, it’s a lot easier than being a military wife–two weeks away rather than 6-12 months or more, daily phone calls that can last hours at a time, etc.–but it is a lot of time apart, and there is risk of him being injured or killed on the job. Differences aside, I totally get this!
Since we talk on the phone and text each other when he’s away, I also like that I can multitask more easily while conversing than I can when we talk in person.
I totally get the multi-tasking! I often find myself thinking, “I could be accomplishing SO much more. . .”
But regardless of the reason why your spouse is away it can simply be hard. But there are a few silver linings too.
Thank you for visiting NanaHood! I enjoyed my visit to your site and will be back!
Teresa
Thank you for stopping by.