On this day, 15 years ago I married the man I love. We had no idea what life and the Lord had in store for us (and it’s probably a good thing we didn’t).
This 15-year journey has not been easy. It’s seen 2 deployments to Iraq, 2 dogs, 2 kids, more moves than I want to count, job losses and job gains, health issues, and LOTS of learning, growing and stretching to the point of almost and sometimes breaking. After all that has been said and done, I know I am a better person because of all this craziness we have called our lives together. Often when one of us is to the point of breaking, the other has to carry us along until we can stand again together. I’m so grateful that I have someone who can do that for me and for our family.
It’s been a hard-won 15 years, but worth it. Here’s to the next 15!
Month: November 2017
Thanksgiving
I publish every Thursday and occasionally some Tuesdays. This Thursday just happens to be Thanksgiving.
To keep things simple, on this day of gratitude, I want to simply list some of the things I am grateful for.
God and Christ- I’ve recently rediscovered my testimony that they are always there for us and will never forsake us no matter how bad the circumstances.
Family- I’m SO grateful that I have one. I cannot imagine my life without them.
Health- This has been a struggle for me in the past and as my back is doing well, my bronchitis/asthma is doing well, it makes my heart happy.
Love- What can you really say about it that hasn’t already been said? It makes the world turn and a much better place to live.
Oceans- They are my happy place. The smells, the sight of them, the sound of the waves crashing; it calms me and helps me be free.
Good Books- My best friends when no one else is available. Special treats when I find a really good one and unexpectedly pull an all-nighter.
Friends- Life would be a very dark place without them. ‘They have helped me through so much and cheered me on.
My Country- Americans like to think of it as the best place in the world and it is pretty darn great. It’s the place I love and the place I will fight for.
What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving day? Cherish it. Love it. It may not be there tomorrow so make the most of your time with the people and the things you love.
I’m Tired
This was originally written a couple weeks ago-
A friend recently asked me if I thought D would be able to live on his own and hold down a job one day. 
That is our goal. But whether or not we will be able to reach it at this point is unknown. Although he has Autism, and he’s fairly high functioning, and pretty capable, he will not choose to do things on his own.
What do I mean by that? With a 3-5 year old you expect that you are going to go behind them all the time helping them, making sure they do what you ask, but after about 5 you start trusting they will follow through on their own in limited circumstances most of the time. As they grow older this ability to work independently grows with them. Usually.
We don’t have that with D. He is completely and totally capable of doing everything that is age appropriate in caring for himself. What he lacks is the desire to do it and any follow through. It isn’t a lack of parenting or structure. It simply isn’t there.
I spend my days putting a carrot in front of him and burning down the bridges behind him so that he will get anything done. Simple things like getting him out of bed, getting dressed, taking a shower shouldn’t require a Herculean effort to accomplish. And it is this way with most things he needs to get done during the day. He is almost as big as I am now, so burning down the bridges behind him is becoming increasingly more difficult. I cannot physically make him do anything anymore. The carrots I hold out are increasingly ineffective as he just doesn’t care about anything enough to take a shower or participate in Science class unless it’s some huge thing and that can’t happen every day.
I’m dejected and exhausted this morning as it is 9:30am and school started an hour ago. He’s still at home. Yesterday he stayed home from church because I couldn’t get him to shower and change and I was tired of him always making me late for church. My husband had been out of town all last week for work and I had been sick. I was and am done in.
Will he live on his own and be a contributing member of society? I don’t know. Right now while I’m in the trenches it doesn’t look like it. But we will keep working towards it and praying that he does because as his Mom, I cannot and I will not give up.
My Own Special Needs
“As a Special Needs Parent, I have a finite amount of time, patience, perseverance, and ability to hang on.”
I frequently can’t change the roller coaster that is being a parent of a Special Needs child, but I can take care of myself so that I can better handle it.”
The Land of the Free
Because working and getting to know each other and building up families is the only way to break down race boundaries and prejudice.
How Charlie (the Service Dog) Came To Be
4 years ago, a dog entered our lives and has changed it for the better. To the outsider, it may not look like he has done much, but we have seen the difference.
Charlie is our son D’s Golden Retriever Service dog. He was trained by Arctic Paws for Service in Alaska. He spent the first 2 years of his life training for the job he has now. They didn’t know what kind of a disability he would help serve so they trained him in all kinds of things and from the first moment we saw him he stole our hearts.
I started hearing about Autism service dogs and what a great difference they can make for people with Autism. I had been extremely resistant to getting a new dog as our last dog had been a disaster and I did NOT want to repeat it. But the benefits of having a Service Dog sounded like they were pretty awesome.
An example of some of the things we discussed having Charlie of for D was interrupting his door slamming, (At that point in time he LOVED slamming doors repeatedly.) and helping to keep him calm and by my side during shopping excursions so he wasn’t screaming and running up and down the aisles the whole time.
Not quite so immediate but slowly a huge improvement, shopping became bearable.
Our main church meetings were an exercise in supreme patience. They would find me literally dragging him out of the chapel due to his kicking, screaming, biting and hitting. D would be set off within minutes of sitting down. Once we got Charlie and started bringing him to church it was several years before I had an issue with him at church again. Charlie goes under the pew and when D can’t handle things anymore he crawls under the pew and pets Charlie until he’s ready to come out again. It has been truly miraculous.
In the past year or so D has started taking Charlie to school with him. D has plenty of kids talking to him now and he is readily accepted because everyone loves Charlie and wants to know all about him. As social deficits are one of the main issues of Autism, this is an area that is usually pretty difficult for him. Charlie helps bridge that gap.
Charlie doesn’t solve all D’s problems, but he mitigates them.
Why I blog
Writing my thoughts, feelings, and emotions down help me process things and put them in a healthier perspective.
