“In those rare times when I do have a minute, thank you for letting me vent and get out the frustrations, loneliness, and stark fear. I know you can’t fix anything, I just need to know I have a safe space to be the real me, not the Mom who is waging war for her child. This is my biggest need.”
Month: January 2018
Friday Memes
Brought to you by the children of “An Ordinary Mom”.
I Will Stand Up! I Will Not Let Previous Bullying Define Me
“It doesn’t need to define me. But it has helped shape me… There are better people out there who love you. Things WILL get better.”
My PTSD With My Son and School Issues
Anxiety is literally eating me apart.
One day this past week I couldn’t get my son to go to school and I didn’t figure out until later in the day that it was due to a new testing system. He’s never had any problems taking tests. It makes me wonder if they are following his IEP and actually giving him the testing accommodations he has a legal right to, due to his disabilities. Some of these accommodations are things like having a scribe, having the questions read to him, a bit of extra time, etc. This ensures that he can show what he actually knows, and doesn’t get caught instead in the mechanics of the question. But are these accommodations happening?
I signed paperwork to start a Functional Behavioral Assessment early last week. Things have not been going well in his first year of middle school. He’s reading a book or drawing or watching YouTube videos rather than participating in class and that isn’t going to get him an education.
The Vice Principal called at the end of the day on Friday to let us know that the teachers had come up with a new plan. He would still follow the 6th-grade curriculum track but starting Tuesday, he would be going in and staying with the 8th-grade class. They told me he can do all his work on the computer. But who is going to monitor him to make sure he isn’t on YouTube? If he does all his work on the computer, how will they teach him to work in groups for group projects when that is something he is highly deficient in his ability to do at this time?
They tell me he will still be getting the same content as the 6th graders it will just be a quieter environment that hopefully, will make a better work environment and he will be away from the kids that are setting him off. But how is it appropriate to put a 6th grader who is behind in at least half of his subjects with 8th graders? How are the teachers going to deliver his content, while they are teaching 8th-grade level subjects? He is already behind, there is no way he can keep up with 8th graders.
I am afraid that their next move will be to decide to place him in a self-contained classroom if this doesn’t work. But for him, that would definitely not be the least restrictive environment, and it is the law that he is placed in the least restrictive environment. I am worried that should he be placed there, he wouldn’t get an education. They would just babysit him and he would pick up more inappropriate behaviors in this setting from children who are lower functioning than he is.
Our meeting to discuss all this isn’t scheduled for 3 weeks. The torture of waiting to see what is going to be the educational outcome is crushing because these decisions can really make or break a child’s success and this is MY CHILD.
In the meantime, his behaviors have been escalating. Christmas break and the break in his routine was not our friend.
This has made my anxiety crush me, and insomnia a frequent occurrence. The years of dealing with these situations have given me PTSD with regards to school meetings of any kind. It’s taking my max medications and supplements for me to get through the day. Friday and Saturday after a root canal I couldn’t deal with things. But somehow I have to.
I don’t know why it is this way but it needs to change. Parents with children with Special Needs shouldn’t have to fight SO hard get basic educational needs met. Yet we do, and we will continue to.
Friday Memes
Brought to you by the children of “An Ordinary Mom”.
A Disability or Just Differences?
When is a disability something that’s wrong or is it something that is just different and therefore not a disability?
Many in the Deaf community feel that there is nothing wrong with them and their lack of hearing. They have created a distinct culture and language around it. It came as a surprise to me when I learned a year or two ago that many people who experience Autism feel the same way. They feel their brains may work differently but that there is nothing wrong with them.
People who can hear or whose brains work neurotypically by and large don’t understand their position. Why wouldn’t you want to be hearing? Why wouldn’t you want to be able to read social cues? Yes, they are missing out on something, but who’s to say that you aren’t missing out on something as well?
The more time I spend learning about and experiencing this world of disability through the eyes of a parent, I’m coming to believe that there is less disability here than I originally thought, and just a different type of ability instead.
Friday Memes
Fridays- brought to you by the children of “An Ordinary Mom”
