An Ordinary Mom's Musings

The temperature is rising and down here in the South and it feels like we are already well into summer. But summer is just getting ready to start. And I don’t know about you, but after having had my kids home for school for the past 2 1/2 months. . .

On one hand it feels like we should be sending the kids back to school. They’ve been out of school long enough. Isn’t it time for the back to school shopping yet? I told my daughter today we needed to go shopping for clothes. She said, “No Mom, not until we are actually going to school, summer is just getting started.” I’m thinking, “But. . . You don’t want to go shopping for clothes? Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?“

But on the other hand my brain is screaming where’s my summer? Fun with family and friends. Great food, lots of water time, relaxing, and hanging out.

This summer is going to be different from any we have ever known.

Big BBQ’s? Nope.

Playing at the community pool all summer long? Nope.

Summer camp? I’ve seen advertisements for “virtual summer camps”. I’m sorry, if I’m signing my kid up for your $1,000 a week summer camp, you’re taking my kids for the week, feeding them, and getting them as worn out as much as is humanly possible so they’ll sleep for a week after camp so I get two weeks worth out of that $1,000. Physical camps not an option this year? Grrr. . .

So what do we do? This is a matter of survival!

Coping strategy #1- We take a deep breath. (And maybe 3 or 4 more? Maybe keep going until summer is over?!) And then we think back to our own childhoods.

Coping strategy #2- Do you remember how Mom sometimes locked the door so we couldn’t come in from the backyard for a while because she had had enough? Mom’s everywhere, we are re-instituting that practice. We can see them from the window. They’re safe. There’s only a little blood. Tell them to use their imaginations. They aren’t really bleeding.

Copying strategy #3- (We are already at this stage of our summer “holidays”.) What did Mom say when we came to her with that whiny voice saying, “I’m boredddddd!” Was it, “Go clean you’re room?”, or was it “Go pull weeds in the garden.?” Speaking of gardens, maybe plant one this summer? It will give the kids something to do. If nothing else they’ll find the worms and start throwing them at each other and you’ll think someone is dying from all the screaming involved.

On second thought, maybe don’t plant a garden?

Coping Strategy #4- Remember when our Moms didn’t have the internet and hadn’t heard of the Academy of Pediatrics and their recommendations for screen time? Flinstones, Smurfs, and the Roadrunner ruled Saturdays. (Have you watched an episode recently? You might be a little shocked you were allowed to watch them.) Other days of the week it was VHS tapes. Go borrow Grandpa and Grandma’s VHS player and tapes (you know they still have them), and introduce your kids to the cult classics of E.T., Goonies, Willow, or Pollyanna. But make sure the tapes haven’t been rewound since their last use so they get the full effect!

Coping strategy #5- Quit stressing over what your kids are eating! It summer, with a pandemic!

We survived on bologna and PB&J sandwiches, and don’t forget about the white Wonder bread. We turned out all right. A couple of months on the stuff isn’t going to ruin them. We weren’t damaged for life because we didn’t have organically grown food with all the food groups present in their proper proportions.

For old times sake, throw in a Tab, some Twinkies, and some grape Kool-Aid.

Coping strategy #6- There’s a long green snake thing outside that we were all intimately acquainted with as kids. It served two purposes. To quench our thrust on those hot summer days, and cool us down. We can’t do crowded swimming pools this year, but we can pull out the old fashioned sprinkler. Or, pick up plastic sheeting at your local hardware store, lay it out on the grass, turn on the water and teach those kids how you ruled the slip ’n’ slide scene.

(Make sure a responsible adult knows where the insurance cards are and can drive you to Urgent Care when (not if) you break something. We aren’t 10 anymore and it’s starting to show!)

Coping strategy #7- Sneaking out of town on vacation? (Maybe leave in the dead of night so “Karen” next door won’t notice that your ”traveling” isn’t essential, at least until you get back.)

Don’t forget Dad’s all-important threat- ”If you kids don’t calm down and be quiet you’re walking to the beach!” Which just happens to be about 500 miles more because you just pulled out of the driveway 10 minutes ago.

Coping strategy #8- Tell the kids “they’re” going camping. Not “we’re”, but “they’re”. Set up a tent in the backyard complete with sleeping bags, pillows, flashlights and toys. This is their house for the summer. They don’t have to clean any of it and you don’t have to look at any of it. Throw them out a PB&J from time to time and they’ll be good!

This is a summer to remember.

To all parents everywhere- May we all survive to see the shining faces of teachers this fall. We are willing to buy any supplies they ask for if they will just take these kids for a couple hours!

*Obviously this was written tongue in cheek, so take my strategies with a grain of salt. Or not!