Being a sibling of a child with a disability or special needs is hard.
For a child, it can be embarrassing. Their sibling does things no one else does. The sibling may not understand the finer points of socialization, causing embarrassing situations.
It can be emotionally challenging as they watch their sibling go through medical proceedures that hurt. Or when their parents aren’t as available to them as they are having to deal with the immediate nature of their sibling’s needs. Playdates get rescheduled due to emergencies, or can’t happen at all to keep their sibling safe from germs.
Feeling safe can be a challenge for them. Some of their siblings may have difficulty controlling their emotions and lash out, hurting anyone in their way. They watch, as their parents are caught in a catch 22 where they are trying to keep everyone safe, and yet not always succeeding.
Often, these siblings are required to step up and do things that other children their age aren’t expected to do. They help with chores that are a little beyond them. Or assist in caring for the medical needs of their sibling. Often, much of their lives are spent going to doctor’s appointments with their sibling or to therapy, because their parents don’t have the money to pay for a full-time babysitter.
Not unexpectedly, this can cause irritation, frustration, and hurt on the part of the sibling.
Everything that their sibling with special needs does begins to irritate them. It becomes hard for them to understand, and if they do, they understand intellectually, but emotionally- none of this makes any sense.
As a parent of a disabled or special needs child, this is something are continually conscious of.
These are things we always feel guilty about.
We aren’t purposely trying to harm our child. That couldn’t be further from our hearts and minds. It’s just the way our lives have ended up due to the circumstances we find ourselves in and we do the best we can.
Life isn’t easy for any of us.
But being the sibling of a special needs child?
They deserve a medal, a parade, and a lifetime supply of something!
