An Ordinary Mom's Musings

I’m managing life right now.

But just barely.

Weekends that are all about Grad school assignments. A crazy busy time at work. A husband who’s health has been shaky, and out of town for work. A child who still has disabilities and the school still calls me regularly. And another child who must be part of every after school activity she can manage.

My anxiety keeps trying to push through the boundaries of medication and deep breathing.

Sometimes it succeeds.

I was feeling particularly run down, exhausted, and feeling like I just couldn’t keep up the pace. But I had to get my husband’s tires rotated on his car after work.

I was pushing through, just trying to get to the end of the day.

While waiting for the tires to be rotated at Costco, I should have sat down and worked on school assignments.

But I didn’t.

Instead, I browsed the book section. I hadn’t picked up and read an actual book in months. I’d listened to them driving back and forth to work but holding a book in my hand and reading the pages of a story I could immerse myself in? That had been a long time for this Bibliophile. On impulse, I bought a book, found a quiet place and sat down to read until my car was ready.

I felt my soul come alive. This is who I am. The reader and lover of books.

Leaving Costco, it was late and pizza or a hotdog really didn’t appeal to me, so instead I found a hole in the wall Indian restaurant for takeout. I walked it and breathed the spicy aroma of Indian food.

And my soul started singing. Yes! This is who you are! A person who loves experiencing different cultures and foods, exploring the multitude of different ideas and experiences that the world has to offer.

As I munched on my naan bread on my drive home, I realized that this was the key to managing my mental health.

I can do hard things.

And keep doing them for an extended period of time.

But in order for me to do that successfully, I have to feed my soul. Those things that make me, me? I have to make purposeful room for them. I have to seek out soul feeding experiences. Because nothing good happens when your soul doesn’t get fed. Picking up a book and getting lost in a story, dancing till you fall on the floor in exhaustion, creating, time spent with God daily.

Whatever it is we need to fill our souls? That is just as important of a prescription to our mental health, as boundaries, medication, and other treatment. But it is greatly over looked.

What does your soul need to fill it today?