An Ordinary Mom's Musings

MASH and Autism

I have fond memories of laying on the living room floor watching MASH with my Dad when I was little. My husband spent 23 years in the military so he’s a big MASH fan. My kids surprisingly love it too. But what does MASH have to do with Autism?

My husband found a book written by the actor who plays Father Mulcahey in the MASH series. It turns out, he and his wife raised a son with Autism. The book details their struggles to find answers and help for him.

If you follow me on Goodreads- or even here for that matter, you’ll know I read a lot. Last year’s number of books read was 108. But there is one narrow genre of books I almost never read any more.

Books about Autism.

When our son first received his diagnoses I over indulged, and then the life that was being described within the pages of the books became all too real. I just couldn’t.

My husband encouraged me to read the book Mixed Blessings by William (Father Mulchey) and Barbara Christopher. So I read it.

Their journey started 50 years ago. I found the book both fascinating and horrifying as I read what they tried, what was recommended by professionals at the time, and how much dedication they put into trying to help their son.

But overwhelmingly? I found it unbelievably depressing to find that things haven’t changed all that much. That many of the things they struggled with- IEP’s, doctors, therapies, shear exhaustion- we are still dealing with these exact same issues 40 and 50 years later. I can’t tell you how heartbreaking this is to realize.

This is why I don’t read books on living with Autism.

Take Your Medicine And Other Self-Care Tips

“As parents of special needs children, we are preached a religion of self-care. We are told repeatedly we have to make time to take care of ourselves or we won’t be able to take care of anyone else. That’s all well and good, but when I was in the thick of the worst of special needs parenting having no idea what I was doing or how to make it through?
I wanted to punch every person who said that to me.”
Read more…

I can do hard things

Tonight when the demons in my head want to take over, I’m reminding myself that I am amazing and I have accomplished things that I dreamt about for years.

I graduated college. I have a BA in psychology. Other people had that. Not me. But now I do.

I’m getting my Master’s degree in Social Work.

I am a published writer.

Yes, my brain and other people are tearing me down and screaming at me that I can’t do anything right.

But the evidence?

The evidence is that I have survived 16 years of special needs parenting. And that is an accomplishment.

I survived 19 years of being a military spouse. Not everyone does that.

I crawled my way though years of severe back pain and 2 surgeries. And I came out the other side.

Anxiety, depression, people who don’t like me and think I’m worthless?

You won’t win.

I will get back up.

I will NOT give up.

I might have to stop and regroup. Give myself breathing room and take my meds.

That doesn’t mean I’m weak or incapable.

It means I am smart enough to recognize when I need help. I’m strong enough to get back up. My brain and the naysayers don’t get to win.

Because I am enough!

Judging A Right To Life or Death

“A couple of years ago, I took a college class entitled Death, Dying, and Bereavement. It was a fascinating class. We talked about different types of death, bereavement, and the act of dying. One of the topics covered was whether people should have the right to choose their death when they are terminally ill. I learned something really important from that class.”
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To Ban or Not To Ban, That is the Question

“Reading widely taught me several things. To name just a few, it taught me the value of learning about other people’s perspectives. This has changed my mind and helped me to better understand situations on more occasions than I can count.
It taught me how to curate my own reading. There are only so many hours in a day. Which books am I going to read? Was I going to waste my time on books that weren’t worth my time? Both of those were extremely valuable lessons.”
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A Legacy of Southern Manners or Something Else?

“Years ago when we were trying to move out of Alaska, I half facetiously had my eye on The South. I had small children who were starting to learn what back talk is and experimenting with its use. Oh to be in The South where manners were taught, not just by me, but everyone they came in contact with!”
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A New Year, Still The Same Me

“We’ve made it to 2022.
We were so hopeful for 2021, and in many ways, with COVID still raging its ugly head those hopes were dashed. I’m not sure if we should celebrate 2022 or spend time in fasting and prayer pleading for deliverance. Whatever 2022 brings, it will likely be unexpected and both heartbreaking and joyful at times.’
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