For 20 years it was my dream to buy a house. When my husband heard me, he said, “Wait, we haven’t even been married 20 years yet.” Not all dreams start at the same time.
In September of 2019, that dream finally came true. And what a house!
Enter my children on the scene- “I have to have a bookcase, a desk, a x,y and z for my room or it’s not ‘done’.” “We have to have a pool in the backyard!” And any number of other things. they feel gipped. Happily ever after didn’t come with accessories.
What my children haven’t learned is that sometimes waiting is a good thing.
I waited for 20 years for my own home, and darn it, if I can wait 20 years for that, I can wait 6 months or a year for the dining room table to go in our empty dining room. Or the recliners we want/need for our living room. It’s not like we don’t have a table and chairs- We do, a 4 person set in the kitchen that works great for us as long as we don’t have any company. Our living room has my beautiful couch I had recovered that I’m in love with. Which works great for us as long as we don’t have any company over. (Seeing a pattern here? The guest room also needs a guest bed. . .)
But, in not insisting that I have everything right now, I’m gaining things I wouldn’t otherwise.
I’m teaching my children how it’s important to work and wait for things. In a society where we can’t even wait for our tv shows- we have to have the whole season to binge watch, I think it’s important to purposely teach our kids that it’s okay to not have everything, and that it can take time to earn the things we need and want.
My children are learning that it’s important to pay our bills first, and then we can look at things we want. Taking stock of everyone’s needs and wants, finding a time and place for them. My daughter informed me that she didn’t know what she was going to do for a job when she grows up but it’s going to be something that makes a LOT of 💲. 😂 This way she could have everything she needs and most of what she wants.
I’m no interior designer. But I want to be careful. My house doesn’t need to, and shouldn’t look like a museum. But I want to be purposeful in my color choices, and the things I change and bring into my home. Because I’m taking time acquiring things, I can find just the right piece to fit in my home to create the right atmosphere. I’m not picking out the first thing I see. I’m taking my time and picking things out with purpose. Always keeping in mind that I want it to be a place where we, and others feel at home and at peace. A lot of thought is going into this.
In some cases we are making things we need and that takes time. A few years ago my husband made me stunning book cases for our many books. (We could use a few more.) Our current plan is that he will make my dining table. Judging from the other pieces he has made me it will be better built than most furniture you can buy in the store, stunning, and have special meaning. This teaches my children to value quality over quantity. It just has to fit in between his work schedule, the National Guard, and redoing all of our closets.
This is not to say that I don’t get impatient. That I don’t want things to be perfectly put together and done. But part of the joy in this process is the process. I’m in no rush to finish something I have waited so long for.
And I can wait.
