An Ordinary Mom's Musings

A friend’s child is in the hospital right now due to a heart condition. As I visited for a moment with her, I was brought back to all those times my child was in the hospital. How hard that is. There are so many maybes, and what if’s, and no guarantees. A mother’s worst nightmare.

This is a nightmare those of us in the special needs community are all too familiar with.

Mental health practitioners are recognizing more and more how medical trauma affects the children being treated. But what I don’t hear about is the vicarious medical trauma that parents suffer, and a light needs to be shown on it. Because it is real, and it is important.

An acquaintance recently posted about how she was having issues with her pregnancy and was being kept at the hospital for a while. But it was bringing back so many memories, triggering so much trauma from when her three year old was being treated for cancer and then later died.

In my work as a social work case manager, I remind parents daily about self care. I remind them how important it is to take care of themselves, I recommend that they seek therapy and healing.

So I’m going to remind you today too. The trauma you have experienced as you have shepherded your children through these illnesses and disabilities? It’s real. Don’t question it. Invest the time in yourself and your care. Seek out therapy, a listening year of a friend. Practice good self care. Your children depend on it.

But even more importantly, so do you.