Depression Archives - An Ordinary Mom's Musings

Depression

An Ordinary Mom's Musings > Depression

I can do hard things

Tonight when the demons in my head want to take over, I’m reminding myself that I am amazing and I have accomplished things that I dreamt about for years.

I graduated college. I have a BA in psychology. Other people had that. Not me. But now I do.

I’m getting my Master’s degree in Social Work.

I am a published writer.

Yes, my brain and other people are tearing me down and screaming at me that I can’t do anything right.

But the evidence?

The evidence is that I have survived 16 years of special needs parenting. And that is an accomplishment.

I survived 19 years of being a military spouse. Not everyone does that.

I crawled my way though years of severe back pain and 2 surgeries. And I came out the other side.

Anxiety, depression, people who don’t like me and think I’m worthless?

You won’t win.

I will get back up.

I will NOT give up.

I might have to stop and regroup. Give myself breathing room and take my meds.

That doesn’t mean I’m weak or incapable.

It means I am smart enough to recognize when I need help. I’m strong enough to get back up. My brain and the naysayers don’t get to win.

Because I am enough!

Judging A Right To Life or Death

“A couple of years ago, I took a college class entitled Death, Dying, and Bereavement. It was a fascinating class. We talked about different types of death, bereavement, and the act of dying. One of the topics covered was whether people should have the right to choose their death when they are terminally ill. I learned something really important from that class.”
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My Christian Friends Who Have Left Church

I have seen your heartache. I know the person you are. You are people I dearly love, who I know have hearts of gold.

My heart cries out for you because of what you have been through!

This one has a child who is transgender.

Another was sexually assaulted by a man in authority and then told she deserved it.

Yet another, questions the very existence of God because of the many trials that they have gone through because why would a loving God put her through that?

Another just never felt close to God and no matter what he does, he feels nothing.

Oh, how my heart bleeds for you all!

I see your pain and anguish.

I don’t purport to know all the answers. I wish I did. I’ve had my own path to walk with things I have had to plead for help and understanding.

My path hasn’t been yours.

But with everything I have been through, with the answers I have found, this is what I know:

God knows the answers.

And even more than that, he understands.

I think one day when we are able to have a conversation in person with him, he’s going to clear up a lot of confusion for all of us. He’s going to know that one person dealt with life long depression which made it extremely difficult to feel his presence. He’s going to take that into account.

He’s knows the horrific experiences you went through and the effect they had on you. That you were blamed and told you deserved it. That for your own health you had to separate yourself from the church. I believe he has compassion and love for you and he’s going to understand that you did the very best you could.

Sometimes we get so caught up as Christians on things we think we are supposed to do, that we forget the core principal of the gospel of Jesus Christ is love.

We forget that those who have made different choices than we have, deserve love and respect.

We want to grade someone else’s sins greater than our own, and regard them as less worthy. But we don’t get to make that call. Only God does.

So when all is said and done, and judgement is given, I think we’ll see a lot more of those people who left the church, unable to walk our traditional ways, with God. Even if I’m wrong, God says to love him and love others, so I’ll keep walking that path and keep reaching my hand out to you in friendship.

Just because you left the church doesn’t mean God, nor I have to leave you.

So we’ll be right here loving you.

Being Held Emotionally Hostage

“I was recently talking with another mom who has a child with mental health issues. While talking she used the term “emotionally held hostage.” Those three words struck a cord with me because so often in the special needs, disability, and mental health worlds it can feel like we are being held hostage. By our children, spouses, parents, and even ourselves through our own illnesses.”
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Feeling like a fraud

“And so I sit here, trying to understand that because my life is not filled with trauma causing events, and has really calmed down in a lot of ways, that it makes me feel like a fraud. As mental health is my chosen field to study and eventually work in… This makes me want to dig into this further.”
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Fear About Being Admitted to a Psych Unit

“Mental health is a scary issue for many people. There is so much stigma attached to many of the diagnoses. Adults frequently are afraid that they will lose their jobs if anyone finds out. This leads to not getting help, and not being able to talk to anyone about their mental health isolating them from the world. Which in turn, can lead to more mental health issues like depression and anxiety. ”
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COVID Is Changing The World For Families Like Mine In A Good Way

“. . .there is one bright spot in this COVID world that should have all of us with special needs family members rejoicing.”
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Dear Health Professionals

“As a parent with a special needs child, we are expected to have a medical degree, multiple therapy degrees, education degrees, degrees in nutrition, psychology and more. (I’ll be able to claim the psychology degree in a few months.) At least it seems that way when we take our child with Autism to the doctor or consult one.”
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My Favorite Things- Book Reviews

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again that one of my favorite things about writing is that I have writer friends who write books and they need people to tell other people about their books. I’m going to share with you 3 new books- Skedaddle, Tune It Out, and The Price of Admission.
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Your Story Is Important And So Is Hers

“I want to introduce you to my friend who we will call Jessie.
Now that she is gone, I think she wants you to hear her story about her mental health too. Because she has a story that needs to be heard.”
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