Right before our 1st wedding anniversary, my husband was getting ready to deploy to Iraq for 16 months with the military. He actually reported in for duty on our 1st Anniversary. We had just moved and were at a new church. The women there were gracious and kind.
However, I didn’t understand the comments from various women about how they were jealous and wished their husbands would go away for a year or two. Here I was a newly married person, my husband was going off to war with no guarantee that he would ever come home again, I was appalled!
(Quick PSA, if you are talking to a woman, and her spouse has deployed statements like above, or ones like, “I never get to see my husband anymore”, when he is home in bed every night- Just don’t.)
I’ve also been on the opposite side of comments where women have said, “I could never do what you do, having your husband gone all the time.” They feel their husband has to be by their side in order to survive. While these comments are basically the exact opposite of the previous ones, these comments puzzled me as well.
Fast forward 15 years. . . I now understand what each of these groups of women meant.
You love your husband. You really, really do. But. . .
Sometimes it’s nice to have the whole king size bed to yourself!
Occasionally it’s nice to stay up half the night working on a project without having to worry about waking up your husband or feeling guilty because you aren’t spending time with him. The kids are in bed and this is your time to do with as you please.
Sometimes you want to watch a sappy girl movie that most men would rather die than watch.
Occasionally you want girl food, not meat and potatoes. Because let’s face it, the kids are happy with cereal or Mac and Cheese. This leaves you to have your grapes, cream puffs, and croissants, or whatever else strikes your fancy.
But what about that other group of women who can’t survive without their husband’s being there?
I’ve always been a pretty independent person. Having kids has taught me the value of having a partner in the craziness.
Someone who can take over before you’ve completely lost it with the kids, the house and the dog.
A person who can share the joys and the sorrows with you and help you face the day after.
Someone who is your best friend and who just “gets” you.
My married life has been such that my husband has times in which he is gone for extended periods. Other times he is home working normal hours locally. What I’ve learned through the years is to take each time that I have and thoroughly enjoy it to the fullest.
