Peace

My Peace I Leave With You

My Peace I Leave With You

“My peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

John 14:27

Of all the verses of scripture, this is my favorite.

It centers me.

It pulls me forward reminding me I can do hard things.

Who doesn’t want peace? Who doesn’t need peace?

I grew up as the oldest in a very large family- 11 kids. While we ourselves weren’t a very loud family, with all those people it could get loud and chaotic. I was a teenager when I found this verse and it brought me great comfort.

A hand reaching toward the light
Image by Jackson David from Pixabay

As I have grabbed hold of my courage and pushed my way through the hard things, this verse has sustained me. As I have dealt with the things that make you fall to your knees in helpless surrender this verse has held me.

Love Doesn’t End With Death

Love Doesn’t End With Death

“He may have been old and sometimes cantankerous when I knew him but these memories coming to mind, reminded me of the deep love he had for his family and how he was always there whenever we needed him.”
Read more. . .

Teenage Years and Special Needs

Teenage Years and Special Needs

“So many times over the years, I have had parents of older disabled children tell me that it will get better. That it is likely our son would pull out of the behaviors that have been rampant for years, that we would be able to find solutions to medical problems. He would be able to eventually live on his own and support himself. ”
Read more. . .

I Waited 20 Years- I Can Wait A Few More

I Waited 20 Years- I Can Wait A Few More

For 20 years it was my dream to buy a house. When my husband heard me, he said, “Wait, we haven’t even been married 20 years yet.” Not all dreams start at the same time.

In September of 2019, that dream finally came true. And what a house!

Enter my children on the scene- “I have to have a bookcase, a desk, a x,y and z for my room or it’s not ‘done’.” “We have to have a pool in the backyard!” And any number of other things. they feel gipped. Happily ever after didn’t come with accessories.

What my children haven’t learned is that sometimes waiting is a good thing.

I waited for 20 years for my own home, and darn it, if I can wait 20 years for that, I can wait 6 months or a year for the dining room table to go in our empty dining room. Or the recliners we want/need for our living room. It’s not like we don’t have a table and chairs- We do, a 4 person set in the kitchen that works great for us as long as we don’t have any company. Our living room has my beautiful couch I had recovered that I’m in love with. Which works great for us as long as we don’t have any company over. (Seeing a pattern here? The guest room also needs a guest bed. . .)

My empty dining room. With one of the bookcases my husband made.

But, in not insisting that I have everything right now, I’m gaining things I wouldn’t otherwise.

I’m teaching my children how it’s important to work and wait for things. In a society where we can’t even wait for our tv shows- we have to have the whole season to binge watch, I think it’s important to purposely teach our kids that it’s okay to not have everything, and that it can take time to earn the things we need and want.

My children are learning that it’s important to pay our bills first, and then we can look at things we want. Taking stock of everyone’s needs and wants, finding a time and place for them. My daughter informed me that she didn’t know what she was going to do for a job when she grows up but it’s going to be something that makes a LOT of 💲. 😂 This way she could have everything she needs and most of what she wants.

I’m no interior designer. But I want to be careful. My house doesn’t need to, and shouldn’t look like a museum. But I want to be purposeful in my color choices, and the things I change and bring into my home. Because I’m taking time acquiring things, I can find just the right piece to fit in my home to create the right atmosphere. I’m not picking out the first thing I see. I’m taking my time and picking things out with purpose. Always keeping in mind that I want it to be a place where we, and others feel at home and at peace. A lot of thought is going into this.

In some cases we are making things we need and that takes time. A few years ago my husband made me stunning book cases for our many books. (We could use a few more.) Our current plan is that he will make my dining table. Judging from the other pieces he has made me it will be better built than most furniture you can buy in the store, stunning, and have special meaning. This teaches my children to value quality over quantity. It just has to fit in between his work schedule, the National Guard, and redoing all of our closets.

This is not to say that I don’t get impatient. That I don’t want things to be perfectly put together and done. But part of the joy in this process is the process. I’m in no rush to finish something I have waited so long for.

And I can wait.

Finding Your Village In The Most Unexpected Places

Finding Your Village In The Most Unexpected Places

We spent the entire month of August (and more) living in hotels as we waited to find and close on our home. I could give you a run down of where to stay and where not to stay in traveling across the U.S. and in the Memphis area. But that isn’t what this post is about.

The last hotel we ended up in for several weeks was Home 2 Suites by Hilton in Olive Branch Mississippi. Living in a hotel for weeks on end is hard in any circumstances. Add to it that you have 4 people and 2 dogs living in the same small room, and one of them has special needs. . . It has been an experience. My kids no longer think it would be fun to live in a hotel.

Through our house buying process we had several hiccups that were unusual and frustrating.

There were times where I was on the point of despair that we would be able to pull off buying a house.

And then came breakfast time at the hotel. Often, I would have the kids eat breakfast, take them to school and come back and have my own quiet breakfast. On one of those days when I despaired of being able to cross the next hurdle that had arisen. I was talking with one of the other guests and a staff member of the craziness and how I just couldn’t find a way through. The other guest said to me, “It’s already done Baby. You just got to believe.” That was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment to be able to press forward.

Tonni Carter, employee of Home 2 Suites Olive Branch MS

Our mornings as I have written about before are hard and exhausting. An employee of Home 2 Suites, Tonni Carter, made them immeasurably better.

There are a lot of us living in the hotel for an extended period. All for various reasons. Tonni greets each of us with a smile, asks us how we are and does her utmost to serve us. And by “serve us”, I don’t just mean serving us breakfast. She serves us all. Listening to our problems and heartbreaks. She tells our children to hurry themselves up or they are going to be late for school when you are busy getting your own meal. Tonni watches out for them and makes sure they behave. She greets us with a hug and treats us as her family. It’s not that she doesn’t have troubles of her own. She has a gift that I hope her place of employment appreciates. She makes living in a hotel more like home.

In the parenting world, we talk a lot about needing a village to raise a child. Yet often, we wonder, “Where is that village?” We can’t seem to find it.

I am walking away a changed person. I have seen my village and what I need to do to create it from the example set by this wonderful woman.

A hotel is not the place I expected to find my village. Yet it has been that. And in this difficult month of our lives, I am so grateful for the people like Tonni who have been my village. Who have cared for us, shined a light of hope and helped us hold on.

*I was not in any way compensated for this post. The opinions in it are my own.

 

A Broken Heart and a Refuge

A Broken Heart and a Refuge

“We had just found out the week before that we would be moving to Memphis TN. We were having profound difficulties with one of our children that I found devastating as a Mother.” Read more. . .

When God Opens a Door- Get Out Of The Way

When God Opens a Door- Get Out Of The Way

“For at the past two years I have been praying about our life in Washington State. It started when I learned that Washington state has a law that the age of consent for drug rehabilitation treatment and psychiatric treatment is 13. This means that at the age of 13, a child can get treatment without a parent’s knowledge. But it also means that they can refuse treatment that they need.” Read more. . .

Moms, No Matter How You Got Here, I Salute You

Moms, No Matter How You Got Here, I Salute You

“To me, it doesn’t matter if it’s a natural birth, a C-Section, or an adoption. Getting beautiful children born into the world and raised is beautiful, worthy, and one of the hardest things you will ever do.” Read more…

No Matter Your Religion, You Are Welcome Here

No Matter Your Religion, You Are Welcome Here

“I may not agree with you. But this space is for you. You are welcome here no matter what your religious beliefs are. No matter what your culture is. Your life may be completely different from mine, but I find value in that. Come. Let’s learn from each other.” Read More-

A New Year, A New Start

A New Year, A New Start

“It means a lot to me that you feel my words are of enough value that you take a moment out of your day and spend time with me reading what I have to say, writing comments and sharing my words with others. Seriously, thank you from the bottom of my heart.” Read more-