Time out has been used as a tool by parents for what seems like forever. Giving a child a few minutes to calm down, reflect on the situation and be ready to try again is something most of us can agree on.
Time out teaches our children to recognize the emotions and feelings that they are going through. It teaches them to give their feelings space by giving them time. By the word reflection, I don’t necessarily mean reflecting on something the child did that was wrong. Maybe they just need some distance from the situation to better understand it, or understand the person better. Time out teaches them appropriate ways to react.
But when you are in the middle of a heated discussion (cough, cough- argument), when you are advocating for yourself, do you give yourself the grace of a time out?
Adults too need time to recognize their feelings and what they mean. Sometimes, we don’t understand what the other person is trying to say or do. That space and time gives us a chance to collect our thoughts, calm our minds (and sometimes our bodies).
In our world that is moving all the time, we have forgotten to appreciate the quiet. We’re often scared of it. We are too busy reacting immediately to what our brains are deeming a threat to stop, take time out to figure out what the best course of action would be. Or to consider that maybe what the other person is trying to say is something completely different from what we thought.
If it is true that our children learn from watching us, shouldn’t we be modeling taking time out for ourselves?
Even if it means that you are on the other side of a locked door with your children pounding on it, and screaming from the other side- As happened to me one morning on a Mother’s Day.
