An Ordinary Mom's Musings

A year ago I decided to go ahead with the idea of writing a blog about the things I had had percolating in my brain for a while. I thought about it off and on for probably 6 months before I pulled the trigger and started. So that I wouldn’t overwhelm myself, I made a goal of posting once weekly, which I have consistently met and sometimes exceeded every week this past year.
The feedback from my blog was largely positive and it fed the creative part of my soul as well as the opinionated part of me. (Pretty much all Lyman’s -my maiden name- are VERY opinionated.) About 6 months in, I decided to see if I could reach a larger audience and started submitting my work online to publishers that would get my work further afield and that was the only compensation. The first published work that wasn’t on my blog got 8.1K ❤️. To date, it’s been my most widely received post. Due to this post and others, I decided to try submitting to paying publishers.
This is a whole new world for me. I don’t struggle with writer’s block ever. Not that that won’t one day be a problem.  I have plenty to write and to say. What I have a problem with now, is freezing when it’s time to send it out into the world. Do I send it out to a paying or non paying publisher? Would it fit better with this publisher or that publisher? It’s paralyzing.
My sister recently visited and was having a conversation with my daughter. My children desperately want to make You-Tube videos, and their father and I don’t feel at this time it would be appropriate. My daughter was explaining this to my sister, and my sister made a comment something to the effect of, “No, the goal is not to have your name or picture on the internet.” That made me stop and think. I am putting my name, my image frequently, and my very soul out into the world for everyone to judge, discuss and respond to. If you google my name now… People will find me and know at least a small part of me. There’s no more hiding.
This is at the same time, both freeing, exhilarating, and terrifying. Knowing that there are people out there who feel I can write, and write well and that my thoughts have enough merit and value that they will publish them so others can read them, and even further still, pay me for those thoughts. It’s incredible. Fortunately, I haven’t met with much blowback yet on my opinions and thoughts, but I know as I grow my audience, it is coming. The trolls won’t skip me. I’ll get my share of nastiness. It takes some measure of courage to put yourself out there with some of your most inner thoughts. An instrumental musician can compose or play a piece and expose their soul through music, but no one will ever completely understand and it’s likely it will mean something completely different to the listeners. But with writing, the words are there. The meaning is clear (Hopefully!). There’s no more hiding behind a piano for me.