As the election season in the U.S. heats up and the media seeks to polarize our opinions even further. I’ve been thinking a lot about people’s experiences and how they are different.
In the special needs world I have a son with Autism. He has a lot of other issues too, mainly in the realm of mental health.
I have a friend who has two children with autism, her children became symptomatic after their MMR shots. She believes that her children’s autism was caused by their shots and has made subsequent decisions because of their experience.
Do I believe that my son’s autism was caused by his MMR shot? No. But a lot of the reason why is because that was not our experience. I have two siblings who have had negative reactions to the MMR shot (No, not autism. Yes, this is a real thing.) So I was VERY concerned about giving that particular shot to my children. Autism wasn’t even on my radar at that point. My children didn’t get their MMR shots until they were over ten years of age. (No particular reason that age, but rather that’s when I felt confident enough to try the shot.) My son was diagnosed with Autism at the age of five, so I know that in our case the MMR shot didn’t cause autism.
But what about my friend with two children with autism? What about her experiences?
What about the scientific evidence?
Here’s the thing. Her path has been different than mine. I didn’t have the experience of watching my kids regress and pull inward immediately after receiving a shot. I can only imagine how hard that was for her. This wasn’t our experience.
Should I write off her experiences as invalid?
I don’t think so.
Her family’s experiences are just as valid as mine are to me. And that’s important to remember as we talk to others who have a different view point. We may not agree with their viewpoint, but we can validate their experiences and try to understand.
Cooper, over at Finding Cooper’s Voice has autism and is non-verbal. His mom Kate’s experiences have been different as the parent of a child who is non-verbal than mine have been as a parent of a child with autism who is verbal.
Are her experiences, and knowledge she has gained any less real if she comes to a different conclusion than I do? Or because her experiences were gained in a different way than mine?
In the special needs world there can be a lot of fighting. With the deaf, it’s cochlear implants or not. With autism it’s ABA therapy or not. Or a billion other things.
It’s time for us to stop.
Listen to others experiences.
HEAR what they have to say.
Yes, pay attention to what science has to say. Our experiences don’t negate scientific research. But neither does it negate our experiences.
Wether your world is the special needs world or not, everyone’s experiences are valid. This is where they are coming from. It’s where you are coming from. If we listen we can find common ground to stand together on the important things and stop fighting. Because who has the strength and energy to fight?
Very well stated.
Thank you.