“Grandma’s house would no longer be hers, filled to the brim with goodies, fun things and a Grandma to love him. His world was changing in a way he didn’t understand.” Read more. . .
Month: November 2018
A History of The Wedding Ring and 16 Years
“We were young and in love. You proposed by asking if I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I said yes of course, but I had no idea that was a proposal! We quickly moved on to the planning stages because weddings take a lot of planning.”
Hurry, Hurry, Hurry- Children With Special Needs
Every morning I wake my son up at 5:45 am and push him to hurry, hurry, hurry. He needs to be able to make the bus at 6:45 am. Mornings are not his thing. Hurrying is almost impossible for him to do. At least it seems that way, and I’ve had various teachers and therapists nod their heads in agreement.
This morning as I snuck back to bed while he was in the shower for a few minutes, the thought that pressed on my mind was, “I need to tell him to hurry up. He’s already been there for 20 minutes.”
But then I stopped. There was singing in the shower. He was happy. He was calm.
This is not something that usually happens during our mornings. He’s not happy and singing. He’s moving like a sleepy turtle that can barely walk and often refuses to head into the shower.
I looked at the clock. He had 30 minutes until the bus came. I could give him 10 more minutes in the shower. He had time. I could calm down my urge to make him rush.
Those of us with children with Special Needs often find we are rushing them. Trying to make appointments, trying to make developmental milestones, trying desperately to get everything accomplished we need to in the very short 24 hours we are given.
Today made me pause. It made me say to myself, “Breathe. It’s been a good week. It’s okay to take your time this morning. He’s going to make it.” I don’t do that enough.
For this morning,
I Give Thanks
How To Change Your Children’s Mind About Literature
“Especially in the case of my son, the public library has now become one of his all-time favorite places. Every week we go there and find new adventures to go on. When he was 3, there was a trip to the library that will forever go down in infamy. He didn’t want to leave his favorite place and he was going to do everything he could to stay. And I mean everything. It took the librarian, the security guard, and myself to catch his energetic body. The library is his kingdom. His second home.” Read more…
How To End The Fear Of One Shoe Dropping
“If you too have a child with Special Needs and struggle with this, I would invite you to join me. Let’s change our thinking. The worst may happen. But worrying about it isn’t going to help anyone. Let’s learn to take the “blips” in stride and leave tomorrow to worry about itself.” Read more. . .
The Minivan Blues, Every Father Has It
My husband has always said we would never own a minivan, and that he would never drive a minivan. There is that saying, “You should never say never,” right?
We only have two kids so we should be able to fit in a smaller car right? There’s only four of us. But we also have my son’s service dog Charlie who goes with us everywhere we go. He’s a Golden Retriever, so he’s not exactly small.
While we did technically fit in a car, it was a really tight fit for the kids and the dog. Add to that, that our kids are only getting older and bigger. They don’t come from a short genetic pool. Their legs are quickly catching up with mine. I expect that both of them will be taller than me one day soon.
Then there are all the health issues our son has. . . For many of them, what car we drive doesn’t matter. There’s just one really important one- Autism meltdowns. A meltdown in a car with him in the back seat becomes dangerous for his sister and dog. There is nowhere they can go to get out of his way. It is dangerous for all of us because his feet and hands can reach me while driving and I’ve dodged many a kick to the head while driving.
We REALLY, REALLY wanted to get a new SUV with 3rd-row seating. But when we tried them out, we discovered that that 3rd row is really hard to access except for a very few and those few were beyond our price range. We knew it was imperative for safety reasons that we have a bigger car and our only option was a minivan. (Did I mention that it replaced a Dodge Charger that has been my favorite car to drive to date? This was dream crushing.)
My husband still said he would never drive it. (Famous last words.) It is still his least favorite car and he would much rather drive our truck. But for us, the minivan works. Our son and his dog get the back row to themselves. The dog loves the minivan so much, that if we throw a treat back there and it misses him, he leaves it there until getting out of the car. And this dog LOVES his food! Our daughter sits in one of the middle captain chairs. This gives her some space from her brother. Should things really get out of hand, she can escape to the front seat when my husband isn’t along for the ride.
The storage room, um, AMAZING! I can do my monthly Costco and Winco trips together and could easily hit up a couple more stores if I wanted. Shortly after we bought our Town and Country, they came out with a new version that had a built-in vacuum- I was sorely tempted to turn it back in and get that one. Did you spill fries all over the car? Great! Vacuum them up before you leave the car! Sand from the beach everywhere? Vacuum your own row up! Oh, and there are buttons everywhere to lose and open doors. So much easier than the original minivans I grew up with.
One day we can have a car that is fun to drive again. But for now, utility wins.
This was written several months ago and I’m now pleased to say that we have a luxurious Buick Enclave and my husband is now happy. It still has the three rows of seating that make it work for us.
Long Term Care For Our Children: It Shouldn’t Be So Hard
A while ago I posted a rather long post about the state of long-term care for children in the U.S. If you made it all the way through, I commend you. It was long. . .
I want to clarify something about what I wrote in that post. That clarification is that I and other families are not just seeking a handout. Read more…
Time Marches On, And How A Young Girl Can Help
“We need to be kind because we never know when we are going to find ourselves in the place of others needing that same kindness and consideration.” Read more…
Homework and kids with Special Needs
School is back in session and the dreaded “Homework” has begun. There is not much in my house that brings tears faster (both from me and my children). So I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Your kids don’t have to do it. . . At least in Elementary School. Or rather that is my opinion and the opinion of a lot of teachers I have spoken to. Let me explain.
In our home, we have learners with disabilities. Dyslexia, Autism, ADHD, Dyscalculia to name just a few.
When my kids were younger, we spent almost every day immediately after school going to therapy. We would get home just in time for dinner and bed. There was no time for them to do homework, let alone time to play and be children.
If we had a rare afternoon off I wasn’t about to make them do homework instead of taking the time to play and have fun. I did have them read for 20-30 mins a day either in the car to and from therapy or in bed at night before they fell asleep.
We have added into my son’s IEP at various times that no homework or extremely limited homework will be issued. It is a legitimate modification for students in their IEP’s.
Do kids sometimes need extra practice? Absolutely. But, to quote a Special Education teacher I know, “If they didn’t get it at school, they likely aren’t going to get it with 30 minutes of homework either.” They are going to need direct instruction. And I don’t know about you, but when it comes to Common Core Math? I can’t help them anyway.
Is it going to be a positive thing for your children or a negative one? Are they behind in a subject or on target? Is the amount of homework reasonable for your child’s age and personality? These are all things you should take into consideration.
So do yourself and your kids a favor and weigh the benefits of homework at your house.
