Last year my daughter came to me and said she decided she wanted to get more involved in school and do more than just dance team. She wanted to participate in the school’s beauty pageant.
This caught me totally by surprise. A beauty pageant?!!!???
I’ve long held the idea that my daughter could have modeled throughout her childhood. She’s beautiful and I’ve had plenty of people confirm that. But while I have flirted with the idea, I’ve also shied away from it and the larger beauty industry.
Beauty pageants to me, demonstrate some of the worst ideas of our society: Let’s judge people on their beauty or lack thereof and even rank them so that they know they don’t measure up. Even more, let’s show them that beauty only exists with this one style or look. This is something I have fought against my entire life. Why would I want my daughter to go up on a stage and be exposed to that kind of judgment?
I agreed to let her do the beauty pageant with misgivings. And when I found out more about the beauty pageant, my misgivings increased. They would be judged on their looks only, as they walked across the stage and posed for the judges, their accomplishments were read off. There was no talent competition where a girl could at least show off what she was good at. There were no questions where a girl could show off her intellect. Looks and their ability to walk across the stage in a fancy dress and heels was what it came down to.
I went to the pageant night with trepidation. I worried about what my daughter’s feelings would be when it was all over. She’s VERY competitive.
Was it all bad? No.
I was proud of the courage she had to even do this in the first place. I was stunned at the beautiful self-confidence and self-possession my daughter had as she walked across the stage. But even better than that? She was proud of herself and had fun. I was proud of her for not being afraid to try something new and being willing to stand up in front of people and be judged.
Did it change my ideas of the world beauty pageants? Not really.
But it was an experience I don’t regret for either of us. And it’s a good thing, as she’s going to do it again this year.
