What are your Christmas traditions? What makes your family belly laugh? The stuff of legends? Here’s one of ours.
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Teach Your Children
Why We Say No To Slumber Parties
I had a unique slumber party when I was probably 10 or 11, compared to a lot of other slumber parties. My family owned a small motel. I was able to invite about 10 girls over for a slumber party in one of our motel rooms, sans chaperones. We spent the night binging on tv and snacks and at one point after midnight, snuck out down the street for a bit. If my parents only knew. . .
But not all slumber parties are fun.
Not all slumber parties end well.
I overheard girls talking about me and others when they thought I was asleep. It wasn’t kind.
Generally, it has been our practice not to allow our kids to have, or participate in sleepovers.
My number one reason?
I was going to say-
Because kids are a complete mess the next morning from not sleeping the night before. I’m all for my kids having fun and spending time with friends. Dealing with the aftermath of not enough sleep.
But the real reason is safety.
Did you know that most children who are trafficked in the U.S. are trafficked not by a stranger but by a family member or someone they know?
At slumber parties things get tried for the first time- pills, alcohol, smoking, touching, and experimenting.
My kids will make choices.
But I want to make sure that they are old enough to understand the choices and the consequences they are making. I don’t think it’s fair to make them deal with circumstances they aren’t ready to deal with.
Am I sheltering my children?
Maybe.
But I also know that the longer they go without smoking, the less likely it is they will ever smoke.
The longer they go without drinking, doing drugs, the less likely this is going to be a problem for them. Not that they won’t ever try them, because they might. But the longer it is that they don’t, the better.
My children are totally capable of making mistakes and do frequently. So do I for that matter.
Giving them the time to figure out how they feel about things, to learn the information for themselves, and give them a chance to see others making mistakes is priceless. So I’m going to keep sheltering my children for a little while longer while giving them freedoms to choose that I feel are appropriate.
Physics Changed My Perspective Of My World
“Do you have dreams waiting?
It’s time. They are ready for you to reach out and grasp them with both hands. That mountain that looks like Everest is high. But it’s not quite as high as you think. It’s possible!”
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I Waited 20 Years- I Can Wait A Few More
For 20 years it was my dream to buy a house. When my husband heard me, he said, “Wait, we haven’t even been married 20 years yet.” Not all dreams start at the same time.
In September of 2019, that dream finally came true. And what a house!
Enter my children on the scene- “I have to have a bookcase, a desk, a x,y and z for my room or it’s not ‘done’.” “We have to have a pool in the backyard!” And any number of other things. they feel gipped. Happily ever after didn’t come with accessories.
What my children haven’t learned is that sometimes waiting is a good thing.
I waited for 20 years for my own home, and darn it, if I can wait 20 years for that, I can wait 6 months or a year for the dining room table to go in our empty dining room. Or the recliners we want/need for our living room. It’s not like we don’t have a table and chairs- We do, a 4 person set in the kitchen that works great for us as long as we don’t have any company. Our living room has my beautiful couch I had recovered that I’m in love with. Which works great for us as long as we don’t have any company over. (Seeing a pattern here? The guest room also needs a guest bed. . .)
But, in not insisting that I have everything right now, I’m gaining things I wouldn’t otherwise.
I’m teaching my children how it’s important to work and wait for things. In a society where we can’t even wait for our tv shows- we have to have the whole season to binge watch, I think it’s important to purposely teach our kids that it’s okay to not have everything, and that it can take time to earn the things we need and want.
My children are learning that it’s important to pay our bills first, and then we can look at things we want. Taking stock of everyone’s needs and wants, finding a time and place for them. My daughter informed me that she didn’t know what she was going to do for a job when she grows up but it’s going to be something that makes a LOT of 💲. 😂 This way she could have everything she needs and most of what she wants.
I’m no interior designer. But I want to be careful. My house doesn’t need to, and shouldn’t look like a museum. But I want to be purposeful in my color choices, and the things I change and bring into my home. Because I’m taking time acquiring things, I can find just the right piece to fit in my home to create the right atmosphere. I’m not picking out the first thing I see. I’m taking my time and picking things out with purpose. Always keeping in mind that I want it to be a place where we, and others feel at home and at peace. A lot of thought is going into this.
In some cases we are making things we need and that takes time. A few years ago my husband made me stunning book cases for our many books. (We could use a few more.) Our current plan is that he will make my dining table. Judging from the other pieces he has made me it will be better built than most furniture you can buy in the store, stunning, and have special meaning. This teaches my children to value quality over quantity. It just has to fit in between his work schedule, the National Guard, and redoing all of our closets.
This is not to say that I don’t get impatient. That I don’t want things to be perfectly put together and done. But part of the joy in this process is the process. I’m in no rush to finish something I have waited so long for.
And I can wait.
The Push Towards Calculators in Special Education
“I’m seeing something in the education world I’m not really thrilled with. Maybe because it’s my favorite subject- math? 😉
Both of my children have struggled with math. It doesn’t surprise me at all. Their parents did, so it would be understandable that they would. But the reasons they have struggled are different.” Read more. . .
The Root Cause of Anger is Fear
“Recently, I heard someone say that “The root cause of anger is fear”. That made me sit up and ponder. I needed to think about this. That’s an interesting concept. Do I agree with that statement?… was there research to back it up?” Read more…
Who Are You Forgetting To Invite?
Take a minute and think about the last several times you’ve had people over. Were any of these people single? Did anyone have a spouse who wasn’t there? Read more. . .
Why I Taught My Daughter About Her Genetics And Diabetes
“Before my Husband and I had children we probably should have taken our genetics into consideration.” Read more. . .
The Meanest Mom Who Won’t Give Her Daughter A Smartphone
“Sometimes my children ask and badger so much that I start wondering if I’m just being a bad Mom. Times have changed since I was a kid.
But that’s just it. Times have changed. In a world where pornography, a huge increase in sex trafficking, cyber bullying, and SO much more is out there, we need to stand firm. It is our responsibility to keep our children safe, and as their parent, you get to decide what that is.” Read more. . .
The Hunger Games and Sports: It Was A Mom Fail
My daughter came home from school one day and said, “Mom, today we played “Hunger Games” and I didn’t know how to play it so I lost.”
Mom Fail. . .
