When I was a kid, for much of my childhood I lived 3 blocks away from one of my sets of Grandparents. All year long there would be a revolving door of Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins coming to visit. I LOVED this part of my childhood. There were picnics, fishing, hiking, playing on the front lawn with my cousins, sleepovers at Grandma’s. It was truly a gift to be able to experience this. I was one lucky girl.
When I was 15 we moved from my Dad’s hometown. Some of my siblings never lived there as they were born later. It has always saddened me that those siblings didn’t have the memories and friendships with our cousins that I had. I always felt sorry for them.
With my children, it’s been very different from my experiences. When they were 3 and under, we lived close to some family and lived with family or had family living with us. But then we moved to Alaska.
Alaska is beautiful and breathtaking. We loved our time there. But, it was really difficult to leave to visit family in the lower 48. In the 7 years we lived there I only left 4 times, and my children only 3. Childhood, in general, was a very different experience for my children than it was for me.
3 years ago we moved to Washington state. We have been close enough to drive to see my Mother in Law. They have been able to meet, enjoy and play with a lot of extended family. (At Grandma’s house every other person they meet is a relative of some kind. It has been a huge blessing.
As my Mother In Law died in October, it has brought comfort knowing that our children have had these 3 years to spend more time with her than they remember. Friendships between cousins have blossomed.
Times have changed the way that extended families interact. No longer are families staying in the same place for the whole of their lives with children marrying and staying close by. Instead of that being the norm as it once was, it has become the exception.
My children may not have lived close to grandparents and cousins where they could spend holidays and all summer long with them. But they have been blessed with other experiences. They have had other people step up and be their surrogate grandparents. They have had communities that have loved and cherished them. Maybe it isn’t the same, but it’s not all that bad either.
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