As a parent, there are moments where you aren’t sure your child is going to make it to the next day because you are so frustrated with them. At times like those, it’s important to remember the good things, the laugh out loud times, the priceless memories. In memory of those times, here are some quotes from my kids from ages 3-5.
2010
– While saying prayers my daughter was repeating everything I said. When I said, “Help us to be good.” She changed it to, “Help Mommy be good.”
-My kids dumped out an entire box of cookies. I was upset about the wasted food and said, “Pick up those darn cookies!” For the rest of the day my son could be heard saying, “Darn Cookies!” every few minutes.
-My son- “The TV thinks my glasses are dirty.”
2011
-My daughter- “Is this Santa’s church?” This coming after attending the church Christmas party.
-My daughter and her friends were changing their names and the people around them. All of her friends said that their Dad’s names were now Handsome. My daughter said, “My Dad’s name is Chicken Noodle.”
-My son- This hole, neck thing is crap! It won’t let my head in! (He was trying to put his head through the neck hole in his shirt.
-My son asked his father where he had gotten the chocolate he was eating. My husband replied, “From the Chocolate Fairies.” Wide-eyed, my son replied, “Where is that? I haven’t been there!”
– While driving with my daughter in the car, my daughter suddenly asked, “Mom do you remember what I told Daddy last night?”
“No.”
She replied in a very grown-up voice as if she was telling some deep dark secret, “I told him everything!”
-Daughter- “Dad and I go downstairs when we’re grumpy. It’s the place to go.”
-Frustrated with my daughter as she had pulled all her little chairs into the kitchen while I was trying to cook. I told her to take them back out. She replies, “Yes your Majesty”.
– My daughter in an attempt to not have to go to bed came into my room and said, “Mommy, my head fell off and it hurt.”
-While reading illustrated scripture stories with my children one night, my daughter said, “Mom! Don’t turn the page! I want to see the bad guys!”
“Don’t you mean the good guys?”
“Nope. I want the bad guys.”
-My daughter has always loved to sing. If she had an album, some of her song titles would be, “I want to live with Uncle Johnny when I die”, “Heavenly Father loves you, he really does, and so do I”, and “I love Cyrus.”
-My son came crying to me. I asked if he had hurt his leg. He replied, “No, I hurt my mountain.” He was referring to his buttocks.
-My son- “I just bit my tongue from my bless you!” (His sneeze).
-My daughter while saying the blessing on the food added in at the last minute, “And bless us to have cookies.”
– My daughter- “Jesus goes to work every day in outer space.”
Year: 2017
If We Didn’t Have To Move Mountains…
I’ve been thinking a bit lately about all the time and energy that Parents of Special Needs children expend. We can truly move mountains for our kids. Mountains of paperwork, mountains of professionals who don’t want to listen to us, mountains of physical and medical issues. But what if we didn’t have to and all our children’s needs were met and we could expend that energy and time elsewhere?
The parents I know would change the world. So much of our time is spent fighting to just exist. The schools, insurance companies, and doctors don’t see even a fraction of what we are capable of if it didn’t take everything that they had to make sure our child is fed, happy, and alive. (Believe me, they wouldn’t want to see us if we weren’t completely drained because they would lose every time.)
Personally, I have to parcel out my energy for fighting battles. I have to be in the right mood and my anxiety levels down so that I can wage war. Because it truly is like waging a war so much of the time.
Parents, Grandparents, and Caregivers give your self a pat on the back. You are SO capable the world wouldn’t know what to do if we weren’t so busy with everything else.
Labels vs Non-Labeling
Our kids often don’t fit neatly into that descriptive box. Even if you find a good descriptive box, there is a lot of prejudice and misconceptions about those boxes.
Autism and Missing Social Cues
“D cannot read most facial expressions. He can read happiness, but if we are irritated or upset he doesn’t see it until it is extreme.”
It's About Love
People don’t care if you think they did wrong unless they KNOW you love them. Shunning them, making them marginal members of society is not going to bring them back into the fold of God. Loving them has the best potential of that.
Anniversary
On this day, 15 years ago I married the man I love. We had no idea what life and the Lord had in store for us (and it’s probably a good thing we didn’t).
This 15-year journey has not been easy. It’s seen 2 deployments to Iraq, 2 dogs, 2 kids, more moves than I want to count, job losses and job gains, health issues, and LOTS of learning, growing and stretching to the point of almost and sometimes breaking. After all that has been said and done, I know I am a better person because of all this craziness we have called our lives together. Often when one of us is to the point of breaking, the other has to carry us along until we can stand again together. I’m so grateful that I have someone who can do that for me and for our family.
It’s been a hard-won 15 years, but worth it. Here’s to the next 15!
Thanksgiving
I publish every Thursday and occasionally some Tuesdays. This Thursday just happens to be Thanksgiving.
To keep things simple, on this day of gratitude, I want to simply list some of the things I am grateful for.
God and Christ- I’ve recently rediscovered my testimony that they are always there for us and will never forsake us no matter how bad the circumstances.
Family- I’m SO grateful that I have one. I cannot imagine my life without them.
Health- This has been a struggle for me in the past and as my back is doing well, my bronchitis/asthma is doing well, it makes my heart happy.
Love- What can you really say about it that hasn’t already been said? It makes the world turn and a much better place to live.
Oceans- They are my happy place. The smells, the sight of them, the sound of the waves crashing; it calms me and helps me be free.
Good Books- My best friends when no one else is available. Special treats when I find a really good one and unexpectedly pull an all-nighter.
Friends- Life would be a very dark place without them. ‘They have helped me through so much and cheered me on.
My Country- Americans like to think of it as the best place in the world and it is pretty darn great. It’s the place I love and the place I will fight for.
What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving day? Cherish it. Love it. It may not be there tomorrow so make the most of your time with the people and the things you love.
I’m Tired
This was originally written a couple weeks ago-
A friend recently asked me if I thought D would be able to live on his own and hold down a job one day. 
That is our goal. But whether or not we will be able to reach it at this point is unknown. Although he has Autism, and he’s fairly high functioning, and pretty capable, he will not choose to do things on his own.
What do I mean by that? With a 3-5 year old you expect that you are going to go behind them all the time helping them, making sure they do what you ask, but after about 5 you start trusting they will follow through on their own in limited circumstances most of the time. As they grow older this ability to work independently grows with them. Usually.
We don’t have that with D. He is completely and totally capable of doing everything that is age appropriate in caring for himself. What he lacks is the desire to do it and any follow through. It isn’t a lack of parenting or structure. It simply isn’t there.
I spend my days putting a carrot in front of him and burning down the bridges behind him so that he will get anything done. Simple things like getting him out of bed, getting dressed, taking a shower shouldn’t require a Herculean effort to accomplish. And it is this way with most things he needs to get done during the day. He is almost as big as I am now, so burning down the bridges behind him is becoming increasingly more difficult. I cannot physically make him do anything anymore. The carrots I hold out are increasingly ineffective as he just doesn’t care about anything enough to take a shower or participate in Science class unless it’s some huge thing and that can’t happen every day.
I’m dejected and exhausted this morning as it is 9:30am and school started an hour ago. He’s still at home. Yesterday he stayed home from church because I couldn’t get him to shower and change and I was tired of him always making me late for church. My husband had been out of town all last week for work and I had been sick. I was and am done in.
Will he live on his own and be a contributing member of society? I don’t know. Right now while I’m in the trenches it doesn’t look like it. But we will keep working towards it and praying that he does because as his Mom, I cannot and I will not give up.
My Own Special Needs
“As a Special Needs Parent, I have a finite amount of time, patience, perseverance, and ability to hang on.”
I frequently can’t change the roller coaster that is being a parent of a Special Needs child, but I can take care of myself so that I can better handle it.”
The Land of the Free
Because working and getting to know each other and building up families is the only way to break down race boundaries and prejudice.
