“In today’s world, writers are told, they must have an online social media presence. We’re supposed to post to Facebook multiple times a day, portray beautiful Instagram pictures, and tweeting out thoughtful, or snarky tweets on Twitter. You need to be advertising yourself and your brand.”
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Recently I posted this picture to social media. I was thrilled to find two of these wreaths at my son’s high school on the entrance doors. I appreciated that someone in the school would care enough to make sure this message was displayed to the minority of students in the building who experience autism. But also to bring awareness to all the neurotypical students.
I asked my son if he had noticed the big wreaths on the doors. He doesn’t always notice things right in front of his face. He hadn’t. But he enthusiastically told me about posters he had seen on the hallway walls that were about autism that he really liked. It may not seem like a big thing to most people, but for him, and to me, it meant that he was being seen and heard.
For those of you who aren’t aware, a puzzle piece has been used to represent autism. This puzzle piece was made into a logo by Autism Speaks, an organization that many people with autism have strong feelings against. A puzzle piece signifies that a piece of the puzzle to unlock the autism mystery is missing. A puzzle piece is also used for other brain-related diagnoses like Alzheimer’s. The autism puzzle piece is usually multi-colored, whereas the Alzheimer’s puzzle piece is blue.
Some in the autism community who have autism themselves, object to the use of a puzzle piece. They feel they have no pieces missing. They feel they are whole and complete. This also usually ties in with their objection to finding a “cure” for autism. This view of the puzzle piece it should be noted is not held by all of the autism community, however. I recently read a few posts of people with autism responding to this controversy. Some feel like getting the diagnosis of autism caused the last piece to fall into place. Others agreed with there being a missing piece. The opinions seemed to be pretty evenly divided.
My first thought, is that my life is consumed with so many other things, I’m not that worried about whether a puzzzle piece should or should not represent something.
For those with severe autism, I think that a puzzle piece or a key makes an excellent representation of the issue. We want to find the missing piece. The world needs to unlock the mystery to figure out how to better help these individuals more fully participate in life, in whatever manner they choose. We want them to be able to communicate, stop self-harming, and enable them to live to their full potential. But right now, we don’t have these answers.
For those who have milder autism, those who would have been diagnosed as having Aspbergers in the previous DSM, I think that the puzzle piece doesn’t apply as well. There is nothing wrong with neurodiversity. People with autism, think and process things differently. Yet they have made amazing contributions to humankind. What more could we want from them?
Where do you stand on the puzzle piece debate? What are your thoughts?
“No matter what you personally have experienced, another person has lived a different life. They need to know that their own experiences are valid. Even if they are different from our own. Even if it has led them down a different path from us. People aren’t going to listen to our testimonies of Christ unless they know of our love for them.”
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like my life. It isn’t perfect. There are of course things that I would love to have. For example, I’d love the ability to travel more internationally. I’d love to have the things I need. But the older I become, I think the answer is being happy with where you are. And I’m where right now I am happy where I am. I don’t need money to make me happy. Read more. . .
I was scrolling through my Facebook feed this weekend and a particular post stopped me in my tracks. It said- “What did you do this weekend?” A perfectly innocuous post. Read more…
Such as this one from my Monday Thoughts? Read more…
My kids don’t have Baby Books. (Gasp!) How could I not do this integral part of Motherhood? (I definitely should have as I have a child with Special Needs and every form I fill out wants to know when he walked, talked, or climbed.)
I had zero interest in my Baby Book information and didn’t think my kids would either. But just in case… Facebook is my kids Baby Book. I figured that I was already posting all the cute pictures and cute things they had done (or not so cute things, like the time I went into another room for just a minute and they had shaving cream all over their hair and each other…). 
Why should I make things harder for myself? There are companies out there that will take my Facebook account and print it all out in book form for me.
Facebook is also my kid’s Scrapbooks…All those art projects that no one has room for? All those school performances that we sat through that no one would choose to sit through unless they were related to the child? They are nicely preserved for any family member to see at any time on my Facebook account. Bonus! As soon as my children get Facebook accounts of their own, I can tag all the embarrassing pictures of them so their friends can see them too. This Mama has plans!
Facebook is also my Journal and Family Photo Album. All those fun family events, quotes, and stories I love or thought were hilarious are all nicely preserved there. My opinions on Politics, Education, Childrearing, and all other important subjects are there for better or worse for my posterity to view. Although it is not my Diary- That kind of venting and information is reserved for Private Messaging to my nearest and dearest friends. Thank you nearest and dearest friends!
I haven’t written and actually sent out a Christmas letter in…….? many years. Facebook is my Christmas letter. So I hope family and friends you are following me on Facebook as that is where you will find out about what we are or are not up to. And I’m not one of those people who will only post picture-perfect kids or vacations. I’m just as likely to preserve a terrible day or a terrible haircut so you can rest assured you are always getting the real us.
Why does it happen this way? I’m a Mom. I have a million things to do when I get up every day. Chronicling my life and that of my children/family happens on the fly. Whenever I feel like taking a picture (which honestly isn’t nearly enough, or crystal clear for that matter), spouting off my latest opinions, making sure I have pictures to remember that trip of a lifetime. If it doesn’t make it to Facebook… It never happened as far as history is concerned in my case. This is how I make sure that my posterity will know who I am, what I’ve done, what I’ve thought and felt. And I’m not going to feel guilty about it. Yes, my child doesn’t have a beautifully embossed baby book, and I might have to fudge some of those answers on the Child Development Questions. But what my kids do know is that I’m right here for them when they need me, I’m doing my best to keep us all alive and functioning, and I love them fiercely.
You can also view a video version of this post on YouTube.
“As a Special Needs Parent, I have a finite amount of time, patience, perseverance, and ability to hang on.”
I frequently can’t change the roller coaster that is being a parent of a Special Needs child, but I can take care of myself so that I can better handle it.”
