Not long ago, a friend posted on Facebook about something she was struggling to understand. She was formerly a Christian until life broke her. I don’t know if she knows what she believes, but she no longer claims to be part of her previous denomination.
In response to her post, various friends and family stepped in to add their two cents, words of encouragement, and bore testimony of the love of Christ for her experience/situation. I was probably one who offered a little bit of all three.
Later that day she replied to all of us.
She hadn’t been looking for answers from us. What she had been looking for was the acknowledgment of her pain, suffering, and experiences. She didn’t need platitudes, being preached at, or other’s people’s opinions.
She just needed someone to listen.
And acknowledge her pain.
After I read her reply, I felt convicted.
I will never stop telling people about God and Christ and their great love for all of us. I think in our great love for them, and for the person, we sometimes lose sight of what we should be doing.
We should be mourning with our friends.
No matter what you personally have experienced, another person has lived a different life. They need to know that their own experiences are valid. Even if they are different from our own. Even if it has led them down a different path from us. People aren’t going to listen to our testimonies of Christ unless they know of our love for them.
Their experiences are real.
Their feelings are valid.
We should practice listening to them and trying to understand without coming up with replies that insert ourselves into the picture. There are a lot of people out there who feel and believe differently than I do. But I can grant them respect as a human being, and acknowledge their views. I can grant them love and understanding, even if I don’t agree. I can listen with an open heart and acknowledge their experiences and hurt.
People often aren’t wanting us to preach to them or bear testimony to them. They need someone to listen and validate their feelings.
They may not be ready to embrace the love of God at that point. But they may be ready to embrace the love of a friend who truly cares.
