“What if this is the best he can do?”
My mother said this to me recently on a phone call where I was calling to vent about a recent IEP meeting that had a lot of discussion that the team and I did not see eye to eye.
What if this is the best that he can do?
That question haunts me.
My child is capable of doing most physical things, he can have an intelligent conversation with people (although he may monopolize the conversation), and he can learn although it may take more time. But something is not jiving with my son. There is nothing that motivates him enough to do anything. It’s like that piece of him is broken. Teachers and therapists don’t know what to do.
What if it’s just who he is? After 14 years of countless hours of therapy, tears (from all of us), and trying again the new greatest thing the therapist or teacher is SURE will work, I’m exhausted. I suspect he’s exhausted too.
He needs an education.
He NEEDS to be able to graduate, get a job and live on his own.
But what if this IS the best that he can do?
I don’t have an answer for that question. But it’s worth pondering and coming back to. What does that mean?
What does it mean for him?
What does it mean for us?
This world of raising special needs kids is so full of unknowns. So many parents with older children keep telling me he will get better. That once they are out of middle school it’s like there’s a switch that goes back on.
We’re sitting here in the darkness waiting for the light to come back on, wondering if what if this is the best that he can do?
But also, wondering if this is the best we can do. . .
