An Ordinary Mom's Musings

The big push currently in the special needs world is to include the voices of adults or children in our discussions of treatment and taking their experiences under consideration. People who actually experience the issue weighing in on their treatment. #ownvoices

I think this is a good thing. Their voices NEED to be heard and they have been silenced for too long.

But. . .

When my child is on day 21 of not going to school because he doesn’t want to do the work-

Not because he can’t or because he’s being bullied but because he doesn’t want to work. And I have spent years of my life trying to find something to motivate him. Making sure that his schoolwork is just challenging enough but not too hard. Working and advocating to make sure he has the best chance of succeeding. And then he refuses to participate?

I’m done.

And I don’t want to hear his voice.

It’s the law that he has to go to school. At this point, his voice, and opinion matter less.

Yes I could homeschool, but since he isn’t willing to do anything at home either, that’s not going to happen.

And let’s be honest.

I need those hours during the day when he’s at school to try to recoup the strain that has gone into attempting to get him to school and preparing for the hours ahead until bedtime.

Dear Son,

Yes, I understand that you would rather be in your safe place- your bed, with your blanket over you reading a book or watching a movie. But life isn’t just about that.

As your mother, I love you and I want what’s best for you. And damnit, it is best for you to be educated and able to work at least an 8-hour-a-day job at some point in your life. You are capable of doing it.

There is a time to use your voice and a time to listen. This is the time to listen.

Maybe I will probably be hated and despised by some in the autism community for this post. The special needs parents will perhaps unsterstand.

I understand that it is hard for you dealing with this world that doesn’t quite work how you believe it should. I understand that people can and are extremely insensitive and even hateful to you. And that you aren’t going to like some of the things we as parents are going to try to help you.

But you’ve got to know that the special needs parents end of things? It’s really hard over here too. We’re pulling our hair out trying to figure out how to help.

Know that I have heard your voice and listened. But there comes a time when I have to say,

“You’re going to school.”