Children

Public Schools Think Parents Have Private School Money

Public Schools Think Parents Have Private School Money

Public schools think that parents have private school money.

I love what being on the dance team has taught my daughter. It has taught her to work hard and not give up even when it gets difficult. It is currently teaching her that you don’t have to like everyone but sometimes you do have to work with everyone for the benefit of the team. It has taught her confidence in herself and kept her in great shape. Those are valuable life lessons and that’s we’re here for. But something deeply concerns me about these school sports, marching bands, dance, and cheer teams and that is the amount of money it costs.

In many public schools, these activities are so expensive only families with two working parents with really good jobs can afford them.

When we went to the first meeting for the dance team, we were told that we needed to pay $1000 that month. No warnings, no payment plans. $1000 was due and if you couldn’t pay that, you were out of luck. We are in a situation where both my husband and I work, and while it was tight, it was something we could manage. Prior to me going back to work? We couldn’t have afforded it and our daughter would have had to drop out. Growing up, if I had wanted to do something like this? It would have been impossible. Our family never had that kind of disposable income.

Two cheerleaders mirroring each other with their hands in the air and one foot up.

This is a public school and in talking with other parents, these fees are not unusual. And it’s not just the dance team. I know a family who spent over $12,000 for their kids for band this year. Dance didn’t stop at the $1000 of course. It wasn’t unusual to have to pay $500 a month between the next round of uniforms, the next monthly coaching fees, and all the incidentals that kept coming up. Do we really need 3 sets of expensive practice uniforms? Then 2 sets of competition uniforms and a game day uniform, each set completed with their own $100+ pair of shoes and jewelry and hair bows?

The activities within public schools should be available to all. Band, football, cheer, and dance teams shouldn’t be exclusively available to those who can afford it. Not to the privileged few who are lucky enough to have come from families of economic means.

Blue background with orange overlay of a marching band cutout.

Fair play and opportunities for everyone have always been important to me. But then I started raising a child with special needs. A child who, if we did not demand that he be given the same opportunities as others, often wouldn’t be given them. This has made me look at situations and realize when we as a community, as a society are being unfair. Our 12 years of living off my husband’s income made me hyper-aware of the many times people just don’t have the money. Because we often didn’t have the money for things.

We as a society need to do better.

We need to invest in schools so that not only those who can afford tutors, extra training, and all the extras can participate and succeed. We also need to take a hard look at our programs and determine what is necessary to have a good program and what really isn’t so that everyone can participate.

A version of this first appeared on Her View From Home.

Will My Kids Say I Was Enough?

“Did I fill their needs? They were fed and clothed.

Did they know they were loved? I tried to spend quality time with them.

Was it enough?”

Read more…

A Legacy of Southern Manners or Something Else?

A Legacy of Southern Manners or Something Else?

“Years ago when we were trying to move out of Alaska, I half facetiously had my eye on The South. I had small children who were starting to learn what back talk is and experimenting with its use. Oh to be in The South where manners were taught, not just by me, but everyone they came in contact with!”
Read more…

My Greatest Hope and My Greatest Fear

My Greatest Hope and My Greatest Fear

“Two and one half years.

That’s the amount of time I have left until my son turns 18. Every time I think about it, terror grips my heart.”

Read more…

Am I Allowed to Fail As A Mother?

As a mother,

As a person,

Am I allowed to fail?

Just once?

Only in one area?

Only on Tuesdays?

What are the rules?

Can someone please tell me?

I thought when we made it successfully through a school year last year, we were okay, despite the masks. This year, we made it 2 weeks into the school year before the High School shut down to quarantine all students.

Meanwhile, I’m back at work for the first time in 12 years and I’m getting emails from teachers complaining because my child isn’t logging on to the Zoom classes. He hasn’t had access to the internet except for school all week, but he doesn’t seem to care.

This week I have failed as a mother.

My child hasn’t gotten dressed and showered on time. Some days, I’m not sure he showered. His version of an essay is one sentence with zero punctuation this week. I’ve only looked at his work a couple times to check that he has done it. I work all day and have been working overtime to deal with our company’s response to COVID, and that is taxing. I’m single parenting because my husband’s away for a few months with this job undergoing training that is extremely stressful for him.

And so, I failed as a mother this week.

My kids have raided the fridge, wandered around in clothes that I’m not sure when they were last washed, with my son skipping school assignments he will have to make up later. Meanwhile, I’m getting upset texts from teachers and I might have bought all the Snickers bars from the vending machine at work.

This week, I failed as a mother.

But there’s always next week.

Fast Sundays: Grandma to the Rescue

Fast Sundays: Grandma to the Rescue

“In our religious faith, the first Sunday of every month is reserved for a special time of fasting and prayer we call Fast Sundays. Traditionally, the expectation is that we abstain from food and drink for 24 hours. Then the money that we would have spent on the food and drink would be donated to those less fortunate. We also spend that 24 hours, usually praying for a special purpose. The object is to help others while bringing us closer to God. At various times in my life, I have been better than others at following this. ”
Read more. . .

Just In: My Child Still Has Special Needs

Just In: My Child Still Has Special Needs

“Big surprise, I know, but for some, it is. Children with special needs grow up to be adults with special needs. They aren’t as cute. The differences between them and other adults are sometimes more evident but they get less grace because they are considered “old enough to know better.”
Read more. . .

Summer-time and the Living Is Easy

Summer-time and the Living Is Easy

“I grew up in a very small town that boasted between 800-900 people during the time I lived there. Summers were hot. I can still hear, and feel my feet slapping against the hot pavement as I ran. I would never wear socks or shoes if I could help it. They were too hot and confining.”
Read more. . .

The Need For Advocating Never Dies

The Need For Advocating Never Dies

“Being in school, a worldwide pandemic, moving to a new state. All of these things I could use as an excuse for missing in action in the advocating arena for the past year or so. But we all know, that the need to advocate for our selves, our child, our family member, doesn’t go away in spite of life changes. It would be nice if it could hold off for a bit when things get crazy, but it doesn’t. In the midst of our latest struggle, a dear friend reminded me of my responsibility to raise awareness of how to find help and resources to help others. Something I have dedicated my life to over the past 10 years since our son’s autism diagnosis.”
Read more…

Love Doesn’t End With Death

Love Doesn’t End With Death

“He may have been old and sometimes cantankerous when I knew him but these memories coming to mind, reminded me of the deep love he had for his family and how he was always there whenever we needed him.”
Read more. . .