An Ordinary Mom's Musings

Two and one half years.

That’s the amount of time I have left until my son turns 18. Every time I think about it, terror grips my heart.

I have always worked towards enabling my children to grow into adults that are independent and capable. I have no desire make them dependent on me for the rest of their lives. But when you have a child with special needs, the level of independence can look different. You wonder if total independence is even possible.

I try to keep in perspective that he is doing things now I swore he’d never be able to do, that we’d have to make accommodations for. The early morning church classes I swore he’d never be able to attend due to his sleep disorder? He hasn’t missed a day so far this school year. I need to remember this and keep it in the forefront of my mind.

The truth is his independence may look different. It may take 5 or 10 more years to accomplish. 18 doesn’t have to be the deadline. 18 is arbitrary. It’s just a number. It took me until I was 40 to finally conquer algebra. Why should I expect it to be different for him?

The truth is that we will likely be more involved with our son’s life as he gets older than my daughter because she generally is more independent and doesn’t have medical issues that no matter what age will always bring him to specialists. He’ll want someone checking in with him because that is his personality.

So we keep walking.

One step at a time closer to the day when he will be independent enough to fly the nest.