Lately my anxiety has been at spectacular levels. And I’m labeling it Coronavirus Anxiety.
People keep asking me why? What am I worried about?
Part of it I know is the uncertainty (read utter panic) of what this next school year is going to look like. I’m terrified that the school district will change the plan to have our students go back to school in the fall. I’m cowering at the thought of continuing to spend 24/7 home with my children for another 9 months of school followed by 2 months of summer. Some of you are probably feeling the same way. I love my kids. I enjoy them, but our relationships are much better with time apart from one another. Then add behavioral issues, anxiety, and depression and it’s really HARD.
Beyond the physical every day of being together, we don’t do well with me teaching them. We have home schooled before. My daughter craves the social part of school. She would survive and likely learn, but she would be very unhappy, and she is at that stage that she believes everything I tell her is wrong. My son refuses to do anything I say that isn’t school related, so why would I think telling him to do his school work at home would be any different?
My school, Ole Miss announced that they would be going back to school on campus this fall. However, I have found that only one of my classes is hybrid with classes meeting in person two times a week. All the rest have been moved online or on Zoom. I worry about the intensive German class I am taking for fall semester. Will it work for me to learn German on Zoom? It is almost impossible right now to get internships and research positions are harder to get because they aren’t able to do as much research without people.
I find I worry less about getting COVID-19.
Perhaps because it is no longer new? Mostly though, it is because I think that at this point it’s inevitable all of us are going to get it. But I still worry about the impacts of having COVID in our lives beyond loss of school. Depression, anxiety, being and feeling isolated, the economy, and I could go on and on. But you don’t want to read all about my worries.
My purpose in writing this I guess is to let you know that you aren’t alone out there. We’re all beyond anxious. We’re all at the end of our patience. It is undermining our self esteem and motivation to do things. Coronavirus anxiety is getting to all of us, even if you don’t have diagnosed chronic anxiety.
Join me in taking a deep breath. And then another one. Calm the racing thoughts. Find something today to do for you that will just make you happy. Our library finally opened here this week. And although we can’t go in and browse, we can reserve books and pick them up curbside. Reading a new book is my reward for living today. What’s yours?
One thought on “Coronavirus Anxiety”